Monday, December 11, 2006

like the lotus from the lotus seeds...

so, i haven't been posting here for eons. mostly because i've been playing over on my myspace profile...and out there living life. however, when life throws you lemons, i decide that writing is a viable outlet for my angst. (love that word 'angst')

most of y'all that know me well, or even peripherally, know that i've had a couple of crappy weeks. while life, in general, is getting 'better' and, yes, i'll *always* be ok, i'll be the first to admit that life just sucked for a while. i haven't cried that much in such a short time in AGES, if ever.

i even, for more than simply several moments, questioned whether taking the high road and making life decisions with my effin' "highest person" was where i should place my energy. you, oh lovely reader(s), will be ecstatic to know that my decision wasn't made in the heat of the proverbial moment and i came back into myself. i did relish the idea of just being a mean, angry, awful, bitchy, vengeful woman for a while; i even thought about that book 'why men love bitches' and toyed with the idea of truly living a life i've, until that point, seen as thoroughly unrewarding in this life and any that may follow.

and then i wore my lotus seeds. when i went to the good ol' M-of-I a few weeks ago, i went to one of my favoritest bookstores ever and bought a mala. i've wanted one for a while, so i went through all the ones available, but realized i was most drawn to the lotus seed. and why? no clue. however, because i don't believe in coincidence, i'm sure that the lovely universe was giving me a gift in advance.

see, the lotus is one of the most revered, powerful flowers in all of floral symbology. but, really, it's a glorified lillypad. seriously. out of the mire and muck of the depths of whatever type of freshwater lotus grow out of, grows this gorgeous specimen of flora. so, the lotus seed mala i 'happened upon' has served as a reminder that out of the shit comes beauty...and i remembered that this isn't the first - nor will it be the last - time that i'll have to encounter the shit that life tosses our respective directions.

the key is stopping the shit that's thrown your way before it hits the fan.


luckily, you're never given more shit to catch than the universe thinks you can handle. now, if only big picture perspective could be maintained while you're knee-deep in the stinky mire.

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