Time for truth telling. I've been doing something over the last few months that I would generally like to think I don't usually do: operating from a place of fear.
What if I do die too early?
What if I don't get full functionalitly back?
What if I don't find a 'real' job with health insurance?
What if I get rediagnosed with cancer? Or it metasticizes? Or I get another damned hernia?
What if I have to live in The Dungeon for another year?
What if I get stuck in Michigan for forever?
What if I'm meant TO BE in Michigan?
What if I end up single for forever?
What if I feel stuck in purgatory for even longer than forever?
Why am I not taking action-/baby steps towards my dreams?
What ARE my dreams?
Has my life changed so very much?
Why can't I get out of this rut?
Where did my reality go?
Why don't I have a social life?
How long can I get away with blaming surgery for being a wuss?
Why can't I break these patterns?
Fear.
Fine. I'm admitting it. Now I just have to do something to *change* it...
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