So, stitches for the Melanoma Frankenstein-ing were taken out nearly 2 weeks ago...zonks! There's a gnarly scar that's still being held together by the super-handy steristrips so it can continue to heal and I can (kinda) have full use of my arm. Kinda toying with the idea of getting a 'thank you for finding it early' celebratory tattoo around the scar...kinda.
On the other hand, healing from surgery to repair my indirect inguinal hernia has been much slower going and infinitely more painful than expected. There have been all sorts of HOLY SHIZZLE moments that some of y'all know about. There have also been some NOBODY WARNED ME THIS WOULD HAPPEN moments that only my Mom and Dearest Sis know about (which really means that my dad and Baby Daddy know, too. Egad!) - ok, and the late night Docs on the 24-hour emergency line. I'm a huge sharer and thrive on TMI, but there are some things you don't want to know. Trust me.
I've been mostly horizontal for 11 days now and it's wearing thin. I've been less than mobile, bored shitless, and in nearly constant pain for a month as of today...and I'm readyreadyready for it all to be over. No concentration ability, so books have been a no-go, TV is crap...and there are NO good movies On Demand. Add that my Netflix took a gazillion years to be returned and sent out this time, ARGH!!!! Really.
I'm lusting after anyone who is able to run. Or workout. Or even walk their dogs, type without discomfort, sneeze without fiery pain in their lower abdomen, and eat spicy foods again. And NOT take narcotics that don't really eliminate pain. Oh, and I'd really, really, really love to sleep in stretches longer than 4 hours - I'm F*&^ING EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! (Just not tired.)
So that's me. What about you? Lemme live vicariously...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Mmmm...blue collar laborers!
Anyone else catch the latest issue of Outside Magazine (May issue not yet online)? The one with sassy, sexy Mike Rowe on the cover? The article was, not surprisingly, well-written and filled with pithiness extraordinaire from the fabu Mr. Rowe.
Apparently, his latest endeavor is to create a website essentially connecting us (the general public; some employed, some not) to the world of physical labor in a humorous, eye-opening way, with a particular focus on "why unemployment is rising while the trades can't find enough workers...How is it that people don't want work that pays $50 an hour and keeps them happy all day long?"
I've always enjoyed tinkering with my hands - making things, restoring furniture, DIY projects, power tools - but the Blue Collar Hannah was truly discovered several years ago, the first time I stepped on a large-scale event's production lot. Pallet jacks, shrink wrap, 24' trucks, city permits, barricades, delineators, forklifts...ah!!!!! My new loves!
So, you can bet that I'll be watching Mike's new site, (get the pun? Mike Rowe works = micro works) for his updates. Oh yeah, his plan is to include links to actual jobs, too. Nifty, no?!
Apparently, his latest endeavor is to create a website essentially connecting us (the general public; some employed, some not) to the world of physical labor in a humorous, eye-opening way, with a particular focus on "why unemployment is rising while the trades can't find enough workers...How is it that people don't want work that pays $50 an hour and keeps them happy all day long?"
I've always enjoyed tinkering with my hands - making things, restoring furniture, DIY projects, power tools - but the Blue Collar Hannah was truly discovered several years ago, the first time I stepped on a large-scale event's production lot. Pallet jacks, shrink wrap, 24' trucks, city permits, barricades, delineators, forklifts...ah!!!!! My new loves!
So, you can bet that I'll be watching Mike's new site, (get the pun? Mike Rowe works = micro works) for his updates. Oh yeah, his plan is to include links to actual jobs, too. Nifty, no?!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Ain't this the truth!
Today's horrorscope:
Your spiritual life needs to take a break for the time being -- you've got way more going on in the real world than you can handle all at once! Prioritize and take care of the most important tasks right away.
Ha! It's just about all I can do to get through tonight (work til midnight-ish) and wake up tomorrow for - whoo hoo - surgery. Really. Feeling a little overwhelmed and just want to keep my head above water. Double really.
My body feels like it's being wrung through the ringer on those old-fashioned washing machines. Beat up and thrown out...I hurt. And I'm tired of it. Hopefully the next week of downtime (read as: slovenly laziness and weight gain) post-surgery #3 will really, truly get me back on track.
I want my life back, please.
Your spiritual life needs to take a break for the time being -- you've got way more going on in the real world than you can handle all at once! Prioritize and take care of the most important tasks right away.
Ha! It's just about all I can do to get through tonight (work til midnight-ish) and wake up tomorrow for - whoo hoo - surgery. Really. Feeling a little overwhelmed and just want to keep my head above water. Double really.
My body feels like it's being wrung through the ringer on those old-fashioned washing machines. Beat up and thrown out...I hurt. And I'm tired of it. Hopefully the next week of downtime (read as: slovenly laziness and weight gain) post-surgery #3 will really, truly get me back on track.
I want my life back, please.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Ooff. What a week.
1. I've had more negative crap happen to my body since I've been back in Michigan (6 months) than I have in for-EVER (like the last decade). From my hip/piriformis/hamstring, to catching a medicine ball with my face, to a freakin' hernia, and now 2 melanoma surgeries. Really?!?!
Addendum: one of my friends, The Divine Ms. W, put a grand spin on it and she said that I'm getting rid of the bad in order to truly reinvent myself. Powerful and beautiful. I still think that it was the duct tape holding me together has just worn out... Kidding. Kinda.
2. Granted, I've also lost a bunch of weight and even my 'skinny jeans' are now a little baggy.
3. I'm about to go into my 3rd half marathon not being fully trained. Is the message from the Universe that I need to go slow(er)? That I'm not meant to achieve my ridiculous (to some) fitness goals? Or that, perhaps, I've got other shizzle to deal with before getting fast(er).
4. I love my nephew. And he loves me. To burn off all his energy, he might actually have to start training for a half with me...seriously.
5. Spring is never going to come to Michigan. I'm convinced of it.
6. Is it ethical or moral to want the Cute Doc who Frankensteined me to ask me out. Even if he's "just" a Resident and I - hopefully - won't be a patient there much longer. Or do I just give it up...Hippocratic oath being what it is and all?!
7. Every time I think I have found my Spring Crush, the hopes get dashed...someone help a girl out!! I'm going on 3 potentials that can't/won't/shouldn't pan out. Boo.
8. Attempting to go to the gym and work out - half hour on the bike, people, nothing crazy - sucks. I felt fat, winded, and, worst of all, even the slightest sheen of sweat made my apparently-still-quite-raw boo boo STING LIKE A BIZZITCH. Whoops.
9. I have the most wonderful, supporting, loving, fantastic network of people in my life. You are the BEST!!!!! And thank you...the phone calls and emails have meant more to me than I'll ever be able to say out loud. Truly.
Addendum: one of my friends, The Divine Ms. W, put a grand spin on it and she said that I'm getting rid of the bad in order to truly reinvent myself. Powerful and beautiful. I still think that it was the duct tape holding me together has just worn out... Kidding. Kinda.
2. Granted, I've also lost a bunch of weight and even my 'skinny jeans' are now a little baggy.
3. I'm about to go into my 3rd half marathon not being fully trained. Is the message from the Universe that I need to go slow(er)? That I'm not meant to achieve my ridiculous (to some) fitness goals? Or that, perhaps, I've got other shizzle to deal with before getting fast(er).
4. I love my nephew. And he loves me. To burn off all his energy, he might actually have to start training for a half with me...seriously.
5. Spring is never going to come to Michigan. I'm convinced of it.
6. Is it ethical or moral to want the Cute Doc who Frankensteined me to ask me out. Even if he's "just" a Resident and I - hopefully - won't be a patient there much longer. Or do I just give it up...Hippocratic oath being what it is and all?!
7. Every time I think I have found my Spring Crush, the hopes get dashed...someone help a girl out!! I'm going on 3 potentials that can't/won't/shouldn't pan out. Boo.
8. Attempting to go to the gym and work out - half hour on the bike, people, nothing crazy - sucks. I felt fat, winded, and, worst of all, even the slightest sheen of sweat made my apparently-still-quite-raw boo boo STING LIKE A BIZZITCH. Whoops.
9. I have the most wonderful, supporting, loving, fantastic network of people in my life. You are the BEST!!!!! And thank you...the phone calls and emails have meant more to me than I'll ever be able to say out loud. Truly.
Runnin' again...
Howdy folks!
Spring is (finally) starting to spring, which means that Hannah's sneakers want to hit the pavement, right?! Yes!!! In theory, at least. Yes, I'm planning on running the Dexter-Ann Arbor Half Marathon at the end of May...but I may be heading into my 3rd half marathon ever so slightly under-trained. Again.
"I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go." -- Lillian Carter
See, I've had some unfortunate developments that are hindering the training part. I'd had a planned surgery lined up to remove a hernia (yes, a hernia! Random.), but was blind-sided last week by a melanoma diagnosis and a couple of surgeries. Earliest stage possible and a 95% survival rate after 5 years...just puts a damper on any running plans when you can't use your right arm for a thing.
"[Wo]men are born to succeed, not fail." -- Henry David Thoreau
REGARDLESS, I'm runnin' and raisin' again. The best lesson for me to walk, er, RUN away with is that life won't stop for my personal health...and I'd rather lead by example and keep on keepin' on.
"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had." -- Erica Jong
So, I'm running with my fanTAStic Team Tiara ladies in May. And besides awareness that we'll be raising, I also have a personal fundraising goal of $625. Why that amount? Well, it'll put 5 girls through the 12-week Girls on the Run program...and our girls deserve it!
Check 'em out: www.girlsontherunsemi.org
Check ME out: www.firstgiving.org/hashmore
One of my longest-term friends who also happens to be an amazing runner (and is running Boston again) turned me on to a song that happens to stumble into iPod rotation at THE most opportune moments. The part that always gets me re-revved (particularly now) is this:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand
Thank you, Rascal Flatts for the words. I'm standing...stand with me? Please consider making a donation - of any amount. (If for some reason, the click-thru doesn't work, the link is: www.firstgiving.com/hashmore) If a donation isn't possible, please consider coming out and cheering us on along the route - 13.1 miles needs a toooooon of cheerleaders!!!
"Follow the grain in your own wood." -- Howard Thurman
Sorry for being long-winded...but thanks for making it this far!
More life,
Hannah
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog." -- Caroline K. Simon
"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table." - Henry James
Spring is (finally) starting to spring, which means that Hannah's sneakers want to hit the pavement, right?! Yes!!! In theory, at least. Yes, I'm planning on running the Dexter-Ann Arbor Half Marathon at the end of May...but I may be heading into my 3rd half marathon ever so slightly under-trained. Again.
"I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go." -- Lillian Carter
See, I've had some unfortunate developments that are hindering the training part. I'd had a planned surgery lined up to remove a hernia (yes, a hernia! Random.), but was blind-sided last week by a melanoma diagnosis and a couple of surgeries. Earliest stage possible and a 95% survival rate after 5 years...just puts a damper on any running plans when you can't use your right arm for a thing.
"[Wo]men are born to succeed, not fail." -- Henry David Thoreau
REGARDLESS, I'm runnin' and raisin' again. The best lesson for me to walk, er, RUN away with is that life won't stop for my personal health...and I'd rather lead by example and keep on keepin' on.
"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had." -- Erica Jong
So, I'm running with my fanTAStic Team Tiara ladies in May. And besides awareness that we'll be raising, I also have a personal fundraising goal of $625. Why that amount? Well, it'll put 5 girls through the 12-week Girls on the Run program...and our girls deserve it!
Check 'em out: www.girlsontherunsemi.org
Check ME out: www.firstgiving.org/hashmore
One of my longest-term friends who also happens to be an amazing runner (and is running Boston again) turned me on to a song that happens to stumble into iPod rotation at THE most opportune moments. The part that always gets me re-revved (particularly now) is this:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand
Thank you, Rascal Flatts for the words. I'm standing...stand with me? Please consider making a donation - of any amount. (If for some reason, the click-thru doesn't work, the link is: www.firstgiving.com/hashmore) If a donation isn't possible, please consider coming out and cheering us on along the route - 13.1 miles needs a toooooon of cheerleaders!!!
"Follow the grain in your own wood." -- Howard Thurman
Sorry for being long-winded...but thanks for making it this far!
More life,
Hannah
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog." -- Caroline K. Simon
"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table." - Henry James
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Really? Cancer?
So, post-melanoma diagnosis, I'm struggling with the idea of being a cancer survivor. Why struggling?
Well, am I? Am I a survivor?
Technically, yes, I am. But I don't feel like my 'battle with cancer' was hard enough. Really. No, I'm not having any fun with the Frankenstein-like arm I have now. It's inconvenient, ugly, and looks like someone took a melon baller to my upper arm. I can't lift anything (in daily life), running isn't in my foreseeable future, and even typing is a strenuous activity.
In general, I'm highly frustrated. Granted, I'm ALIVE and highly frustrated...but it's still difficult.
I didn't expect to be this flummuxed about whether or not I'm a 'survivor.' But maybe that's because I'm struggling to grasp that what I had - H-A-D...past tense - was cancer.
Well, am I? Am I a survivor?
Technically, yes, I am. But I don't feel like my 'battle with cancer' was hard enough. Really. No, I'm not having any fun with the Frankenstein-like arm I have now. It's inconvenient, ugly, and looks like someone took a melon baller to my upper arm. I can't lift anything (in daily life), running isn't in my foreseeable future, and even typing is a strenuous activity.
In general, I'm highly frustrated. Granted, I'm ALIVE and highly frustrated...but it's still difficult.
I didn't expect to be this flummuxed about whether or not I'm a 'survivor.' But maybe that's because I'm struggling to grasp that what I had - H-A-D...past tense - was cancer.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Huh? Really??? I'm *not* invincible?!
So, much to my surprise, I was diagnosed with a malignant mole, aka melanoma, aka skin cancer, yesterday. Ok, I might not have been SUPER surprised, but that's 'cuz it was an ugly-lookin' mole (yes, Dear Greer, I hear your voice in my head!).
Regardless, bad news is best NOT ingested when you're driving down M-14...even if you are a ridiculously cute Dermatology Resident delivering the news. (Hey - silver lining in this cloud is indeedy the Cute Doc. Just sayin'...)
The mole itself was a hair bigger than a pencil eraser, so not super big. Post-surgery 1 on Tuesday, the residual boo boo was about 2" long and not too horrifying. Evidenced here:
Post-surgery 2, I'm quite a bit more Frankenstein looking and it looks like Cute Doc took a melon baller to my arm before giving me several layers of stitches from the inside out. Evidenced here:
[NOTE: images blurry because they were taken with my CrackBerry and, honestly, my wound makes even ME, Stoic Hannah, nauseous.]
UPDATE: It's now Wednesday and I'm a fair bit more swollen (I worked for first time post-surgery today) and a horrendous shade of mustard (much like your spendy purse, Dear Greer - a shade that looks good in a PURSE, but not on a McWhitey-Pants arm).
Not fun. None of it. And, ok, the real silver lining is that my skin cancer was caught in the earliest stage (Stage IA for the curious) and that I've got a 95% survival rate after 5 years (um, WHAT?!?!?!). No bloodstream or lymph node traveling, no chemo, no radiation, but a crapload of 'staying on top of it' for the rest of my life.
Regardless, bad news is best NOT ingested when you're driving down M-14...even if you are a ridiculously cute Dermatology Resident delivering the news. (Hey - silver lining in this cloud is indeedy the Cute Doc. Just sayin'...)
The mole itself was a hair bigger than a pencil eraser, so not super big. Post-surgery 1 on Tuesday, the residual boo boo was about 2" long and not too horrifying. Evidenced here:
Post-surgery 2, I'm quite a bit more Frankenstein looking and it looks like Cute Doc took a melon baller to my arm before giving me several layers of stitches from the inside out. Evidenced here:
[NOTE: images blurry because they were taken with my CrackBerry and, honestly, my wound makes even ME, Stoic Hannah, nauseous.]
UPDATE: It's now Wednesday and I'm a fair bit more swollen (I worked for first time post-surgery today) and a horrendous shade of mustard (much like your spendy purse, Dear Greer - a shade that looks good in a PURSE, but not on a McWhitey-Pants arm).
Not fun. None of it. And, ok, the real silver lining is that my skin cancer was caught in the earliest stage (Stage IA for the curious) and that I've got a 95% survival rate after 5 years (um, WHAT?!?!?!). No bloodstream or lymph node traveling, no chemo, no radiation, but a crapload of 'staying on top of it' for the rest of my life.
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