99 Days 'til I run that darned ING NYC Marathon...

As always, feel free to skip the "Hannah-news" and head straight to the making of the donation. But I sure do hope you choose to read my word(ines)s... If you've already donated - THANK YOU!!! And my word(ines)s are here to keep you included in my ING NYC Marathon journey.

Oh yeah. You'd better believe that I'm counting the days. The good news? I've been - quietly - doing my training. Yes, this girl who has a nasty habit of falling off the training wagon has met the weekly mileage goals *every week* for the 4 weeks I've been 'officially' training.

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring." - Chuck Palahniuk

One of the reasons I've been able to meet my goals, is that I've started hashing. My (long-term) goal is to be up in the front with all the fun kids and to do that, well, I have to get my tucchus in shape. Hashing is not for the shy and may be considered an odd choice for training, but, lemme tell ya, this is a group of quality, intense runners, with a large dose of socializing and adventure. Sound like me much?!

"We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand." - Jennie Jerome Churchill

A conversation I had with one of my newfound hash cohorts recently touched on things that go in your 'bucket' - that well you dig into when you just don't wanna do something and you pull out some (much needed!) strength. An interesting conversation to be in for so many reasons and it certainly got me thinking about my reasons for tackling 26.2 miles, something I always said "I never..." about. My past *fundraising* excursions included several different motivators...and always a personal touch:

* the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in honor of so many of the new 'family' members that embraced me as their Walker Buddy and I wanted to join them in the fight to end breast cancer...and that pesky lump of my own that we've been monitoring for a decade.
* Team in Training took me to Alaska to run my first half marathon to honor and celebrate the life of my fantastic Great Uncle Dave who was a lymphoma survivor we lost to pancreatic cancer. (Um, didja know that pancreatic cancer and malignant melanoma are genetically linked? He was also a melanoma survivor.)
* my first race post-melanoma diagnosis and surgery was to raise money for my Brick Elementary Girls on the Run girls and I successfully created 4 scholarships specifically for our Title 1 school.

And this time? What is my motivation? I joke that it's because I gained more weight this winter than I ever have before (although it's true). I casually talk about wanting to raise enough money for 'job security' (does that really exist?). But you know what really rings true? It's the kids.

"What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." - P. D. James

As an adult, I realize that I come from a beautifully child-centric home. I have been beyond lucky to have parents who are incredibly vested in our (I have a sister, commonly known as 'The Blister') success and well-being. I am privileged, spoiled rotten, over-educated, ridiculously traveled, was taught to stay active physically and mentally, follow my heart, live my dreams...and eat well.

"I show up. I listen. I try to laugh." - Anna Quindlen

It's that last one that gets me. I left NYC with the singular professional goal of helping to fight the obesity epidemic. At the time, it never occurred to me that while 'obesity' typically gets interpreted as indulgence and "too much," sometimes it means 'lack of,' too. That, at least in part, what we colloquially term 'obesity epidemic' stems from a lack of nutritious food, exercise, attention, direction, not just too much. (No judgement, I swear...I'm "in it" to change it.)

"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another." - Helen Keller

My 'bucket' for this wee race in November can be summed up in the more-eloquent-than-me words of one of our Seed2Plate teachers: we at Growing Hope are "teaching hungry kids to feed themselves." Yep. Feeding them literally, from the tilling of the soil and the seeds they plant. Feeding them with structure, guidance, and goal-setting. Feeding them by investing in them and creating a community that welcomes, supports, and nurtures them.

"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself." - Michel de Montaigne

I can't gift a "perfect life" to anyone and wouldn't want to. But I can invest in the well-being of my community by helping to ensure the success of the programs that feed them, literally and metaphorically. And so can you. By supporting me in my desire to stumble through 26.2 miles of running and making a donation - in any denomination, you will be ensuring the future of Growing Hope, our programs, and the youth we are honored to include in our world.

And, please, puh-leeeze join me in a training run...I welcome the company!!

You're the best!
(for those that don't know this story, stay tuned for the next email!)

...and, so, it begins again...

I'm back. Blogging, that is. It's been a (long) while...I was busy catching up on having a life. Forgive me?

But now I'm here. And I have lots to say - surprise!

2011 - set to be an epic year of running.

After a year spent mostly squishy and certainly not well-maintained physically (I blame it on the truffle fries at the Jolly Pumpkin!), 2011 is already starting out to be a rather epic year of running. Why?

Well...

- My dear friend, Amy Becker, asked me to be a part of the Hood to Coast relay team she's coordinating. F-U-N!!!
- It's also the 100th running of the Bay to Breakers event and I kinda feel like I should be in on the action.
- This *HAS* to be the year to run Cincinnati's Flying Pig half. It just has to.
- I'm even toying with running my first - only? - full marathon if I2Y/Stupid Cancer gets bibs for the NYC Marathon.
- I'd love to get one of the Rock'n'Roll series' Heavy Medals...which means running at least 2 of their races. Amy's roped me in to Savannah's inaugural race in November, but I'm thinking that NOLA could use me, too. I might even be super crazy pants and try for Philly, too.

Anyone wanna join in the McFunski good times?! Mr. Hal Higdon's website and I just sat down and created a training plan for the next 2.5 months. And now I have to get going on the next YEAR AND A HALF!!! Daunting much?

It's been a while, eh?

Missed me? And my blathering? (Please say yes...I'm fra-geeee-lay as they say in Italian)

So, what *have* I been up to? A whole lotta not much. Work, mostly. Some volunteering. Some soiree hosting. Tons of playing with the 'Dorable Nephew.

I decided to stay in Michigan. Odd to most folks, sure, including me, but it works. I left NYC wanting a quieter life and to feel a sense of community again - and the A2/Ypsi area is giving me just that. Even being around family is kinda fun. Yes, yes, after an adulthood of actively avoiding being in the same town - state! - as my family, having my nuclear family within a 5 minute drive is quite pleasant.

Some have commented that I decided to stick around a while ago...notsomuch. My brain and short-term dreams certainly didn't include Michigan until I decided to resign my lease for another year and start looking for a Big Girl Job here in SE MI. And I am now, indeed, looking for full-time, meaningful employment that will allow me to fully blossom...and have most nights and weekends available for Big Girl fun. (And maybe even some dating!!!)

So, stay tuned. I've had some good interviews and some disastrous ones...and the positions simply become more and more intriguing!!!

Ridiculous and delightfully 'Dorable!

My nephew and his best friend.

StoryPeople of today.

I've never worried about getting older, he said, I've been too busy worrying about getting caught.

(who me?!)

Not blamin' it on the booze.

Day 8 of sobriety.

Not bad a'tall. Or difficult. Ok, well, there was one hiccup, but I abstained. I have, however, been considered quite the crankypants the last few days.

But I solved that problem: FULL MOON!

Once that was figured out and I breathed a sigh of relief, um, well, I was still edgy, bordering on crotchety. And I figured that one out, too.

There was no coffee in my house for three - THREE - days.

For those of you who don't quite understand my caffeine dependency, have a chat with my Blistery Sis and ask her about her experience of me during the Chicago Avon Walk for Breast Cancer back in 2004. She will eloquently and accurately explain how coffee, quite simply, makes me a better woman.

So, I went through caffeine withdrawal for three days...and now it's over. Problem solved - good coffee has been purchased. And I'm back to being a kind, productive citizen of the world again.

*sigh*

I'm obsessed with food.

The list of food I keep making and wanting to make is endless. I should really stop eating when I'm full, but I simply *LOVE* my chicken, swiss chard, rice & cheese concoction. Love it! I've always been a good eater; Gawd bless a fast metabolism.

I work at the Jolly Pumpkin these days where there's a huge focus on local, organic, and sustainable...with an emphasis on simple and delicious. My waistline and I agree that the food is yummy!

I'm currently watching Julie & Julia (thank you Netflix!) and loving it...I'm motivated to head to the library to get the books that they're reading in the movie about Julia's life.

Beyond that, I'm even thinking about taking an Organic Vegetable Growing class in March. How fun?!?! I'd love to have my own veggie garden this year!!

That kind of night.

Day 4 of self-imposed sobriety. And I'd love a glass of vino. Truth be told, I could crack open any number of bottles right now...but I won't. Why? Well, uh, I had a realization: I don't really want to.

I enjoy booze - excellent microbrews and red wine particularly. I don't drink to excess often, but I do have a bevvie or two several nights a week. (Hazard of working around really good beers.) It's fairly typical of those in 'our' generation - and us of Euro descent - to incorporate a casual drink into being social. (The latter being a conversation my near teetotalling mother and I have regularly...she just doesn't understand.) Numbing out? Nah.

Not typically.

Until I had a moment of disappointment tonight that kind of surprised me (my reaction, not the actual happenstance). My reaction was to want a glass of wine. Avoidance? In this instance, most assuredly; I didn't want to feel that particular emotion. No, I'm not giving this particular experience too much credit or weight, just observing my reaction.

Sobriety, cleansing, de-sludging, becoming clear(er)...all good things. Taking the time to check in with myself - invaluable. I might even have to go deeper and re-read Broken Open; I like to get back to it every once in a while and it could help me truly figure out what the eff I'm doing with my life. The last year has been particularly foundation destabilizing for me, eh?

Stay tuned...

Storypeople of the day.

I love Storypeople. A lot. This is today's:

I have heard some beautiful notes in my life, she said, but they were nothing without the rest of the music, too.

Lovely, eh?

Today's horrorscope.

Today you might find yourself craving solitude, hannah, perhaps for meditation, or contemplating your current situation. You may feel that you're at a crossroads and need to decide which fork to take. This could involve the next step in your material progress, or it could involve self-expression, or it might involve your spiritual path in some way. Emotions from the past could well up, but this is a positive development. Don't fight it.

So true!

Shockingly...

I'm currently hungry...so was again thinking about the foodstuffs. I guess I'm much more predictable than I'd like. Bah.

My love for men & food...

I was laying in bed this morning thinking about men. [Sorry, Mom!] I also woke up unusually *RAVENOUS*, so I was also thinking about food. And, yes, my mind skipped, danced, and pranced along until I was laying there thinking about how some of the most standout men in my life have been the ones who have cooked for me...or not.

*sigh*

There was Dom. Ooooof. Lotsa lessons there, including why I was meant to never smoke, but he sure did make me a believer in simultaneous, um, you-know-whats. He was a Sous Chef at an Italian restaurant and used to woo me with all sorts of deliciousness...including a pizza with a heart-shaped roasted red pepper (not on that Hallmark-iest of holidays either).

*sigh*

Mr. Park Avenue would make deliciously simple, gourmet meals. And we ran hot...'til I joked about having a water fight in his kitchen. Talk about fizzle.

There was J. Didn't show his love for me in a lot of the ways that I truly desired, but he would go out of his way to make sure I was fed. Never believe that you can't win a woman with food!

R., the man who turned me into an unknowing Other Woman (now there's a story!), never cooked for me, but wined and dined...and dined...and wined me.

Thank the stars that one's over and done with.

Steve never cooked for me...and I'm still, to this day, glad he dumped me. [Even though it stung like the Dickens at the time.]

Even since I've been in the Mitten State, there have been men who catch my eye because of their talents with the food items. Some who have cooked just for me, some who have cooked for not just me...and all shall remain nameless because they're all currently in my life in some capacity. Well, most of 'em. (But that's a different story for a different time and, truly, the outcome is still a wee bit undecided.) And I'll letchy'all speculate, but I'm not namin' names.

Moral of this monologue? Cook for me. Feed me. Deliver me food. It'll be worth it...

Long time, no blog.

Whirlwind of an '09 ending. Whew. Worked too much, played too much, got sick too much - stooooopid bronchitis. Back in 'the game' now, though. Simplifying life a *whole* lot and movin' on.

Been doing some thinking and have realized I need to set some goals, do some cleansing, and...and...and...something. So, without further adieu, here are some of the things I plan to do in 2010.

1. Run a blasted half marathon more than adequately trained.
2. Run a sub-2 hour half marathon while I'm still 35.
3. Run a half marathon with Mr. Teddy M. (we've been trying for 2 years now!!!).
4. Write more [personally and professionally].
5. Continue with my NYE Resolution: to be a reformed Reformed Bad Decision Maker.
6. Get back overseas for a visit.
7. Find, hunt down, or create a book club.
8. Be skinny enough to run a Warrior Dash in a sports bra and furry mini-skirt...shallow, but fun.
9. Say 'Yes' a whole lot.

And be warned! Starting Sunday, January 23rd, 2010, I'm gonna be a tee-totaler for 21 days. Yes, it's the day after Jess J.'s 'do', so it'll be perfect timing...but this gal needs to cleanse and de-bloat in order to look FABulous in my evening gown on February 25th.

I mean it, Tony Cantu and Erin King. Don't tempt me!

Creating an A2/Ypsi-Tucky 'To Do' list...

Those that know me well know that I move. Fairly often. Lifelong habit passed on to this gypsy by gypsy-faring parents. Conversely, every time I move, the first thing I do is create roots and connections - a la volunteering with organizations that pique my curiosity.

In the year-and-a-bit I've been here, I've certainly *not* been invested. Whycome? Well, I didn't think I was staying. A downward spiraling economy, skin cancer, and a direction-challenged (in a metaphorical way, dears, not literal) Hannah means that I'm now here...in a lease-signed, bills-paid way.

So, now I *am* looking to invest. Here's the short list so far:

Neutral Zone (because kids are my 'thing.' I've been a member of the Under 40-ish group for a while now, but we're looking to do some fun stuff in the coming year)
826 Michigan (already on their volunteer list, but lookin' to do some tutoring and some fun, event-related stuff.)
Growing Hope (because I was raised on local, whole foods, believe in eating local, whole foods, and want to pass on the habit to the next generation)
Ann Arbor Art Center (because they're recruiting volunteers for their 2010 Wine Gala fundraiser...I love the arts *and* wine!!)
Michigan Theatre (because it's gorgeous and, um, a chance to see shows for free as an Usher. Duh!)

I'll keep y'all posted. 'Cause I know you care. How are YOU getting involved in your community?!

Crush. Please?

I miss having crushes.

The butterflies-in-the-belly when you think you might see that certain someone.
Your friends whispering, "He's coming, he's coming, he's coming...he's *tooootally* looking at you!"
The heart-stopping moment when you actually lock eyes.
The head-to-toe blush when he passes, but throws you a sassy over-the-shoulder glance.

Ah. Crushes. It's not even that I'm too old; I certainly haven't outgrown them. I just don't seem to bump into too many men I'd be interested in. Or maybe I just don't bump into too many men and that's the issue. I did have a mini-crush for a hot, smoldering minute, but that flame got stomped out - big time.

And now? I'm a-lookin'...is it 'round this corner?!

Transitions.

Nope, not the kind in a triathlon...the kind that can sometimes make a girl sad.

So, tonight I reconnected with a long-lost love (of a sort) and it's making me think all sorts of thoughts. Like how the first child I raised (not mine, human) is applying to college. And how the second child I raised (assumed from my parents, 4-legged) is pretty much stone deaf and really starting to be an old - o-l-d - dog [she's nearly 15].

And it makes me rather sad.

Why? Good question.

I love(d) my First Child and will always cherish the fun we had and the ruckus we raised. I love(d) my Second Child even though it was TOUGH many a time and the lessons learned weren't always fun and sunshiney. I learned so much from both these lasses. SO much - about me, about them, about life, about how I'd do it over or how I'd do it for myself should I get the chance.

And *this* might be the heart of the matter. When DO I get to do it for myself? I've had a wonderful life of (mis)adventure, travel, and experience. Through it all, I've only had one thing that I wanted to do since I was a wee one and one thing that I'll regret not having experienced: the having of my own children.

As my most amazing eggs leave me on a monthly basis, I do start to wonder how much time I really do have. The big 4-0 is closer now than it was "then" and it feels like a looming invisible line in the sand.

Do I regret mothering someone else's child and a stubborn, feral canine before having my own? Laws no...I'm the woman I am today partially because of those experiences. Do I regret any of my along-the-way decisions? Nope. I can't. But I can hope. And stay open. And be ready. And know that I won't just have a baby because of a biological clock...that's never been how I wanted to parent - my own parents taught me too well.

I think that now is just a time for me to reflect and recognize that my wonts and needs are so vastly different than they were even a few years ago. And to plan to attend a graduation ceremony like none other for my First Child come next year...and to maybe shed a tear or two.

Wuv. Twu wuv.

I had a gorgeous, horribly bittersweet moment with the Grand Dame of the Ashmore Hounds this morning. After nearly 12 years together, we had a first during our morning snuggles...the feral dog finally let her guard down enough to show me just how much she loves and trusts me.

Gorgeous because it was a gift. Bittersweet because the signs of aging are too many to ignore. It'll be one of the stand-out moments in our relationship.

It's odd for me to start the day with tears.

Procrastination is the name of my game. Or is it avoidance?

So, long weekend of work (don't wanna talk about it), followed closely by a long, stupid Monday of work (really don't wanna talk about it). Guess what?! I don't wanna talk about it.

What I DO want to talk about is how I was s'posed to start a fun project yesterday, but totally forgot about it because I was consumed by a weekend I don't wanna talk about. So, I tried to start tonight...but am now avoiding it because I don't want to 'fail.' And, yes, I'm "failing" by blogging instead of working on said fun project.

Color me dork.

What *is* the fun project? Well, um, it's writing. BUT it's writing with a quota. Which feels like sales. And makes me hate it. And it's fiction. Which freaks me out...because it's sooooooo not my forte. I don't do the creative. I do sardonic. Realistic. Life-observant shit, bordering on moderately motivational. Creative? Bah. Fiction? Shudder.

And I circle back to that shitty word we all face, loathe, and avoid by denial - FEAR. I'm scared I'll fail. Wait. I said that.

Maybe I'll buy a t-shirt from the site and call it a day. heh. That'd be funny...and helpful.

Or. Maybe. I'll finish this glass of La Parcela. Go to bed. Stop hating the world after a good night's sleep and a couple days off (1st few in a few weeks). And do some more writing tomorrow...just keep on keepin' on.

Maybe.

Disclamer: By writing this post, I just lost out on about 1/5 of what I was supposed to write in my 'novel' tonight.

Apparently, I have a lot to say...

1. My dogs are just as excited about the beets as I am. When I asked who was gonna skin 'em, though, the 'conversation' reminded me a lot of the "when are you gonna rub *my* belly?" question I ask nearly every morning. Again, I get gypped.

2. I love my new shower irrationally. From the water pressure, to the output, to the heat control...love it. It's the little things, kids.

3. If my period (full-disclosure, folks, sorry) doesn't start soon, I swear to G-O-D my boobs are, quite literally, no exaggeration, going to explode. I understand cycles come in waves and no two are alike and that, this time, it's all about purge/release/transition, but for fuck's sake. Davvero.

4. I'm going to cheer on a bunch of my running friends tomorrow in the Detroit Free Press Half/Marathon. I had planned on running it, but, well, we all know how the best laid plans...blahblahblah.

5. So, my next 'on-the-schedule' race is the NOLA half. Anyone in? Guess that means I'll have to start running again...

6. I think that the main reason I'm not getting sick in the midst of all these flu-y people is that I'm religious about my raspberry-flavored Emergen-C. Could be bullshit. Could be 716% psychosymatic. Don't care...'cuz I'm not sicky.

7. I hate, loathe, and despise folding clothes. And the unpacking fairy has failed to report for duty. A-GAIN. She should be fired.

8. Halloween's my favorite holiday. And I have to work. FML?

9. I need some cables to connect my ancient TV to my DVD/VCR player so I can watch my old school stuff. Anyone got some I can snag?

And she said, "Dude. It's time."

Swift kick in ass. Well-intentioned message from delicious friend who knows all...and knows me well. And all I can say is, "You're right."

Ok, VanO, I accept the challenge. Anyone with me?

Rediscovering the Old.

More than just re-discovering and getting back to parts of that are age-old familiar - like the being a bookworm, cooking, etc., I'm finding things in my Boxes of Stuff (and I've got, um, lots).

- all my stilettos that I forgot I had (this notsogirliegirl does indeedy have a girlie-girl side!)
- books I've wanted to read for years
- my great-grandmother's red, swing coat that I *LOVE* and my grandmother's 'Sherlock Holmes' cape.
- tchochke of the "meaningful" kind (although, I guess it's all meaningful to the owner, eh?)
- clothes, clothes, and more clothes...cheese'n'rice I've got a shitload of stuff that I forgot about. And now I just need a social life - TIME for a social life - so I can actually wear it all!

...but I did wear the sassy hot pink, kitten heel ankle boots last night! L-O-V-E those shoes and I'm thrilled that I didn't lose one post-Vegas. They were dubbed my 'F*%& Me, Mary Poppins' boots last night. heh.

Yay rediscovery!

Pearl and almost Normal.

1. I'm staying home - shock! - and cooking...beets (red *and* white), spinach to add to my dinner, and spaghetti squash for tomorrow. Anyone know if beet greens are edible?

2. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it - wet dog food smells nasty, even the 'better' quality shizzle. And it's a testament to how committed I am to making this an 'easy' transition for my dawgs that I spend a half hour every few days stuffing kongs and old marrow bones with nasty-assed wet dog food.

3. For all my fellow Scrabble addicts, didja know you can take CLASSES in Scrabble strategy? How fun is that?! Weird, but fun.

4. I'm fat. And tired. And I need new jeans. And I'd love more time/energy to run/work out. But I am happy. I love my new space!

5. I haven't lived by myself in 7 years...and I'd forgotten how fun it is. Walking around naked, just outta the shower, makin' coffee? Delish.

6. I can tell I'm on a 'Path of Rejuvenation.' How come?! Well, I'm super interested in growing and nurturing plants again, I have brainspace to read books (!!), and I'm cooking every other day or so...all on my list of Fave Things to Do Ever, but all things that I haven't had much time, space, or desire for in the last while (don't ask me to define 'while,' please).

7. I even have the urge to write...and use my brain. No, no. Please don't fall over dead. I know it's been a while. 'tis true, though.

8. So, I'm 85% unpacked in my Ypsi-tucky residence. Never would've thought I'd stick around this neck o' the woods, but it feels good...and right.

9. I love that I live on Pearl Street at *almost* Normal. Parfait, n'est-ce pas?

Where are all my blogger friends?!

Y'all suck. Oops...that's not very positive reinforcement oriented, eh?

All my blogger friends - where are you? None of you have posted anything lately...I need food for thought. I need inspiration. I need something to keep me entertained!!!

Blogs to recommend? Seeing as *my* friends don't have much to say....

Addresses.

So, I thought that my Brooklyn address was awesome:

123 South 4th Street

But my new address is funnier methinks:

Pearl and almost Normal.

Sweet, effin' Baby Jeeeeeesus...

What a month. I'm tired. Between training for my new/2nd job, working original job, apartment hunting, apartment moving into, packing/unpacking, laundry, moving storage units, and trying to find some time to sleep...well, shit, I'm lusting for a day off.

Haven't had one in over 2 weeks and there's not one in the foreseeable future. But ya know what? 'S'all good. I'll make it...and make some bank, too. Which is the point, yah?

That said, as of October 1st, I'm going to give up giving up my workouts. No more excuses. I haven't run in a gazillion years (I did just unpack my sneaks, tho). I haven't been to the gym in at least a couple of weeks. And I'm eating on-the-fly, in my car, so I'm turning into Fast Food Nation. Thank goodness I don't have to have a full physical right now - FAIL!!!

More than anything, I'm ready to be nestled into the Cute New Apartment and finding time to reconnect with my books - so many to read! - and spend the next couple weeks Netflixing, reading, and cooking.

I apologize in advance for my disappearance...but you can find me at Pearl and Almost Normal (my address - perfect, right?) if you really want to.

Mwah!

Tuesday. Tuesday. Why are there no songs about Tuesdays?!

1. Friends of mine are producing The Alaska Ride to benefit an AIDS Charity of your choice. I kinda wanna crew it...head back to Alaska for an extended trip, do some good, and be 'working' in a way that I love and is super familiar. Anyone in?

2. I'm loving this weather. LOVing it.

3. I'm shallow enough to really, *really* love throwing down a 40-point, 3- or 4-letter word in Scrabble. LOVE it.

4. I'm trying really hard to break some old patterns, but it's not always easy. In fact, I think the only way I can really remember to stick with the New Me is to indelibly mark myself again (tattoos, y'all). Not kidding.

5. Is already 1/3 finished in the crocheting of a new blanket. That means fall's around the corner and I'm about to start nesting.

6. I've got an escape artist dog who might be sidelining as a phantom. She got out of another fully-enclosed area yesterday...2nd time in a month and I really *don't* know how. She's too old (14 1/2) to jump the fences and not quite skinny enough to squeeze through. Theories are welcome, but I think she's just turning into a ghost momentarily.

7. Some days I wonder if I'll ever grow up. Then I wonder about the true definition of 'grown up'...and realize that I might have pieces of it already embedded, but I'll always be a big goofball (and fun!). At least I won't be boring.

8. I think I need another cup of coffee. But, more importantly, I'm having a kick ass hair day!

9. It's official - I'm an Ypsi-tucky-ite. I'm going to sign my lease tomorrow!!!!

A reminder to take the high road. Always.

Borrowed from PostSecret.

This is for you, Matt Plank-a-licious.

1. Fall's coming. My favoritest time of year ever. Idealistically, I prefer the imagery of a spring rebirth and blossoming, but my allergies think it sucks. So, the nesting, settling in, little more introverted autumn has become my fave.

2. T-SHIRTS AND JEANS!!! Woooooooo. I love jeans. Love them. Irrationally, but not nearly as irrationally as I love cargo pants.

3. I really do have an irrational love of cargo pants and impulse buy them regularly. And flip flops.

4. I need to get my feet did. Ted will appreciate that. And m'girl Jimenez. I love having pretty feet! What fall color should I choose?!

5. Life is awesome. Effin' awesome.

6. I'm apparently merging into creative mode again. How do I know? My Old Lady side is coming out and I'm feeling the need to crochet. Seriously, y'all it's a N-E-E-D. Sad, but terribly true...I'm a geek inside.

7. I miss writing. My Michigan Peeps don't necessarily know this about me, but in my former lives, I've been a writer of all sorts, more than just blogging. I've drifted a bit from something that I love and comes naturally, but methinks I have to get back to it.

8. There's a light at the end of the tunnel for being confined to The Dungeon. I'm retardedly excited about seeing all my stuff again. Really!

9. Now, Mr. Plank, are you happy?! I blogged - a lot! - for you. Now get me a half basket of sweets on the fly!!!! xoxox

Cassidy, I wish I could hate you.

No, not really. Not one bit, actually. But I keep thinking about your Year of Yes...and, dammit, I think I need to get back to that, too. Forgetting fear, doubt, pain, past lessons, et al and taking the leap.

"Take the leap and the net will appear."

BTW, I missyouloveyouwannasitdownonacouchanddrinktoomuchwineandtalkforhours!!! And maybe we can democratically and methodically decide which movies we're going to watch again. *sigh. The good ol' days.

*This* is going on the front of my calendar...

Sh*& - it's already September! What am I gonna do for my birthday this year?

For years, I've planned themed birthdays - burlesque, dive bar and tattoos, just a couple examples of years gone by. I didn't plan anything last year because (a), I knew hardly anyone in Michigan, and (b) I wasn't feeling super-celebrationy.

This year? All that's changed. And now I have to come up with a theme, a locale, a costume (a MUST!!!), and a date. (Take that last one however you choose. ;) I've got time!)

Thoughts? Suggestions? Opinions?

Finding (near) perfection.

I threw out my Wanted List (apartment-related, dearhearts) to the Universe...and I believe I may have gotten it.

Um, a wee bit unsettling.

Ok, not really. But I have found a gorgeous, 'grown up,' character-full, affordable apartment for myself. I'm realizing that I should have put a couple things on the Wanted List that it doesn't have (better closet space and on-site laundry), but I'd be getting a wonderful, light-filled, spacious 1 bedroom apartment, with hardwood floors (wooo!) and heat included (a big thing here in the Frozen Tundra of the Midwest).

Now I just have to figure out a way to get my clothes cleaned - free babysitting in exchange for laundry privileges? Dinner-making and wine-purchasing in exchange for a friend/family members washing machine and dryer?

It is a rather large stumbling block I'm realizing, but one I think I can overcome...

IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan.

Not looking for the next best thing...

Whew. That's a lifelong lesson with multiple applications, eh? To not be eternally looking for the proverbial Next Best Thing.

I realized - ahaaaaa! - sometime last week that I've spent the last nearly a year (!) trying to figure out where and what the next geographical/professional/personal Next Best Thing could be...when maybe, just maybe, the message being delivered was to settle into the here (Michigan) and now (appreciating the life I have here).

My second realization was that I am currently living a parallel life to the one I had in Greenville, SC. In a nutshell, I didn't really want to move there and spent the vast majority of my life attempting to escape - boyfriend in another city and we spent most of the time travelling - rather than really digging in to the wonderful city that I think Greenville is and the superfantasticawesome people that particular experience delivered into my life. Only now that I'm long gone do I truly appreciate how much that lil' city is *me* - outdoorsy, temperate, kind, true main street lifestyle with an international flavor, small enough to have a wonderful sense of community, large enough to have culture, nightlife, and personality, with a truly affordable quality of life.

I don't regret my experience and the decisions I made because they're all part of Me and I wouldn't be the Hannah I am today - blah blah blah. But I do really miss those people I collected in that experience.

So, I've decided to stay in Michigan. Commit to being here for at least another year. Find an apartment. Settle in to having my very own life again. Start truly working towards creating my professional dream world. Enjoy being near my family...and some delicious new friends I've managed to collect here, too.

Scary? TERRIFYING. Do I feel like I'm settling? Yes, in the root-growing sense...and, oddly, no, in the am-I-compromising-what-I-really-want sense.

Stay tuned...

Some of my