Not blamin' it on the booze.

Day 8 of sobriety.

Not bad a'tall. Or difficult. Ok, well, there was one hiccup, but I abstained. I have, however, been considered quite the crankypants the last few days.

But I solved that problem: FULL MOON!

Once that was figured out and I breathed a sigh of relief, um, well, I was still edgy, bordering on crotchety. And I figured that one out, too.

There was no coffee in my house for three - THREE - days.

For those of you who don't quite understand my caffeine dependency, have a chat with my Blistery Sis and ask her about her experience of me during the Chicago Avon Walk for Breast Cancer back in 2004. She will eloquently and accurately explain how coffee, quite simply, makes me a better woman.

So, I went through caffeine withdrawal for three days...and now it's over. Problem solved - good coffee has been purchased. And I'm back to being a kind, productive citizen of the world again.

*sigh*

I'm obsessed with food.

The list of food I keep making and wanting to make is endless. I should really stop eating when I'm full, but I simply *LOVE* my chicken, swiss chard, rice & cheese concoction. Love it! I've always been a good eater; Gawd bless a fast metabolism.

I work at the Jolly Pumpkin these days where there's a huge focus on local, organic, and sustainable...with an emphasis on simple and delicious. My waistline and I agree that the food is yummy!

I'm currently watching Julie & Julia (thank you Netflix!) and loving it...I'm motivated to head to the library to get the books that they're reading in the movie about Julia's life.

Beyond that, I'm even thinking about taking an Organic Vegetable Growing class in March. How fun?!?! I'd love to have my own veggie garden this year!!

That kind of night.

Day 4 of self-imposed sobriety. And I'd love a glass of vino. Truth be told, I could crack open any number of bottles right now...but I won't. Why? Well, uh, I had a realization: I don't really want to.

I enjoy booze - excellent microbrews and red wine particularly. I don't drink to excess often, but I do have a bevvie or two several nights a week. (Hazard of working around really good beers.) It's fairly typical of those in 'our' generation - and us of Euro descent - to incorporate a casual drink into being social. (The latter being a conversation my near teetotalling mother and I have regularly...she just doesn't understand.) Numbing out? Nah.

Not typically.

Until I had a moment of disappointment tonight that kind of surprised me (my reaction, not the actual happenstance). My reaction was to want a glass of wine. Avoidance? In this instance, most assuredly; I didn't want to feel that particular emotion. No, I'm not giving this particular experience too much credit or weight, just observing my reaction.

Sobriety, cleansing, de-sludging, becoming clear(er)...all good things. Taking the time to check in with myself - invaluable. I might even have to go deeper and re-read Broken Open; I like to get back to it every once in a while and it could help me truly figure out what the eff I'm doing with my life. The last year has been particularly foundation destabilizing for me, eh?

Stay tuned...

Storypeople of the day.

I love Storypeople. A lot. This is today's:

I have heard some beautiful notes in my life, she said, but they were nothing without the rest of the music, too.

Lovely, eh?

Today's horrorscope.

Today you might find yourself craving solitude, hannah, perhaps for meditation, or contemplating your current situation. You may feel that you're at a crossroads and need to decide which fork to take. This could involve the next step in your material progress, or it could involve self-expression, or it might involve your spiritual path in some way. Emotions from the past could well up, but this is a positive development. Don't fight it.

So true!

Shockingly...

I'm currently hungry...so was again thinking about the foodstuffs. I guess I'm much more predictable than I'd like. Bah.

My love for men & food...

I was laying in bed this morning thinking about men. [Sorry, Mom!] I also woke up unusually *RAVENOUS*, so I was also thinking about food. And, yes, my mind skipped, danced, and pranced along until I was laying there thinking about how some of the most standout men in my life have been the ones who have cooked for me...or not.

*sigh*

There was Dom. Ooooof. Lotsa lessons there, including why I was meant to never smoke, but he sure did make me a believer in simultaneous, um, you-know-whats. He was a Sous Chef at an Italian restaurant and used to woo me with all sorts of deliciousness...including a pizza with a heart-shaped roasted red pepper (not on that Hallmark-iest of holidays either).

*sigh*

Mr. Park Avenue would make deliciously simple, gourmet meals. And we ran hot...'til I joked about having a water fight in his kitchen. Talk about fizzle.

There was J. Didn't show his love for me in a lot of the ways that I truly desired, but he would go out of his way to make sure I was fed. Never believe that you can't win a woman with food!

R., the man who turned me into an unknowing Other Woman (now there's a story!), never cooked for me, but wined and dined...and dined...and wined me.

Thank the stars that one's over and done with.

Steve never cooked for me...and I'm still, to this day, glad he dumped me. [Even though it stung like the Dickens at the time.]

Even since I've been in the Mitten State, there have been men who catch my eye because of their talents with the food items. Some who have cooked just for me, some who have cooked for not just me...and all shall remain nameless because they're all currently in my life in some capacity. Well, most of 'em. (But that's a different story for a different time and, truly, the outcome is still a wee bit undecided.) And I'll letchy'all speculate, but I'm not namin' names.

Moral of this monologue? Cook for me. Feed me. Deliver me food. It'll be worth it...

Long time, no blog.

Whirlwind of an '09 ending. Whew. Worked too much, played too much, got sick too much - stooooopid bronchitis. Back in 'the game' now, though. Simplifying life a *whole* lot and movin' on.

Been doing some thinking and have realized I need to set some goals, do some cleansing, and...and...and...something. So, without further adieu, here are some of the things I plan to do in 2010.

1. Run a blasted half marathon more than adequately trained.
2. Run a sub-2 hour half marathon while I'm still 35.
3. Run a half marathon with Mr. Teddy M. (we've been trying for 2 years now!!!).
4. Write more [personally and professionally].
5. Continue with my NYE Resolution: to be a reformed Reformed Bad Decision Maker.
6. Get back overseas for a visit.
7. Find, hunt down, or create a book club.
8. Be skinny enough to run a Warrior Dash in a sports bra and furry mini-skirt...shallow, but fun.
9. Say 'Yes' a whole lot.

And be warned! Starting Sunday, January 23rd, 2010, I'm gonna be a tee-totaler for 21 days. Yes, it's the day after Jess J.'s 'do', so it'll be perfect timing...but this gal needs to cleanse and de-bloat in order to look FABulous in my evening gown on February 25th.

I mean it, Tony Cantu and Erin King. Don't tempt me!