Apparently, I have a lot to say...

1. My dogs are just as excited about the beets as I am. When I asked who was gonna skin 'em, though, the 'conversation' reminded me a lot of the "when are you gonna rub *my* belly?" question I ask nearly every morning. Again, I get gypped.

2. I love my new shower irrationally. From the water pressure, to the output, to the heat control...love it. It's the little things, kids.

3. If my period (full-disclosure, folks, sorry) doesn't start soon, I swear to G-O-D my boobs are, quite literally, no exaggeration, going to explode. I understand cycles come in waves and no two are alike and that, this time, it's all about purge/release/transition, but for fuck's sake. Davvero.

4. I'm going to cheer on a bunch of my running friends tomorrow in the Detroit Free Press Half/Marathon. I had planned on running it, but, well, we all know how the best laid plans...blahblahblah.

5. So, my next 'on-the-schedule' race is the NOLA half. Anyone in? Guess that means I'll have to start running again...

6. I think that the main reason I'm not getting sick in the midst of all these flu-y people is that I'm religious about my raspberry-flavored Emergen-C. Could be bullshit. Could be 716% psychosymatic. Don't care...'cuz I'm not sicky.

7. I hate, loathe, and despise folding clothes. And the unpacking fairy has failed to report for duty. A-GAIN. She should be fired.

8. Halloween's my favorite holiday. And I have to work. FML?

9. I need some cables to connect my ancient TV to my DVD/VCR player so I can watch my old school stuff. Anyone got some I can snag?

And she said, "Dude. It's time."

Swift kick in ass. Well-intentioned message from delicious friend who knows all...and knows me well. And all I can say is, "You're right."

Ok, VanO, I accept the challenge. Anyone with me?

Rediscovering the Old.

More than just re-discovering and getting back to parts of that are age-old familiar - like the being a bookworm, cooking, etc., I'm finding things in my Boxes of Stuff (and I've got, um, lots).

- all my stilettos that I forgot I had (this notsogirliegirl does indeedy have a girlie-girl side!)
- books I've wanted to read for years
- my great-grandmother's red, swing coat that I *LOVE* and my grandmother's 'Sherlock Holmes' cape.
- tchochke of the "meaningful" kind (although, I guess it's all meaningful to the owner, eh?)
- clothes, clothes, and more clothes...cheese'n'rice I've got a shitload of stuff that I forgot about. And now I just need a social life - TIME for a social life - so I can actually wear it all!

...but I did wear the sassy hot pink, kitten heel ankle boots last night! L-O-V-E those shoes and I'm thrilled that I didn't lose one post-Vegas. They were dubbed my 'F*%& Me, Mary Poppins' boots last night. heh.

Yay rediscovery!

Pearl and almost Normal.

1. I'm staying home - shock! - and cooking...beets (red *and* white), spinach to add to my dinner, and spaghetti squash for tomorrow. Anyone know if beet greens are edible?

2. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it - wet dog food smells nasty, even the 'better' quality shizzle. And it's a testament to how committed I am to making this an 'easy' transition for my dawgs that I spend a half hour every few days stuffing kongs and old marrow bones with nasty-assed wet dog food.

3. For all my fellow Scrabble addicts, didja know you can take CLASSES in Scrabble strategy? How fun is that?! Weird, but fun.

4. I'm fat. And tired. And I need new jeans. And I'd love more time/energy to run/work out. But I am happy. I love my new space!

5. I haven't lived by myself in 7 years...and I'd forgotten how fun it is. Walking around naked, just outta the shower, makin' coffee? Delish.

6. I can tell I'm on a 'Path of Rejuvenation.' How come?! Well, I'm super interested in growing and nurturing plants again, I have brainspace to read books (!!), and I'm cooking every other day or so...all on my list of Fave Things to Do Ever, but all things that I haven't had much time, space, or desire for in the last while (don't ask me to define 'while,' please).

7. I even have the urge to write...and use my brain. No, no. Please don't fall over dead. I know it's been a while. 'tis true, though.

8. So, I'm 85% unpacked in my Ypsi-tucky residence. Never would've thought I'd stick around this neck o' the woods, but it feels good...and right.

9. I love that I live on Pearl Street at *almost* Normal. Parfait, n'est-ce pas?

Where are all my blogger friends?!

Y'all suck. Oops...that's not very positive reinforcement oriented, eh?

All my blogger friends - where are you? None of you have posted anything lately...I need food for thought. I need inspiration. I need something to keep me entertained!!!

Blogs to recommend? Seeing as *my* friends don't have much to say....

Addresses.

So, I thought that my Brooklyn address was awesome:

123 South 4th Street

But my new address is funnier methinks:

Pearl and almost Normal.

Sweet, effin' Baby Jeeeeeesus...

What a month. I'm tired. Between training for my new/2nd job, working original job, apartment hunting, apartment moving into, packing/unpacking, laundry, moving storage units, and trying to find some time to sleep...well, shit, I'm lusting for a day off.

Haven't had one in over 2 weeks and there's not one in the foreseeable future. But ya know what? 'S'all good. I'll make it...and make some bank, too. Which is the point, yah?

That said, as of October 1st, I'm going to give up giving up my workouts. No more excuses. I haven't run in a gazillion years (I did just unpack my sneaks, tho). I haven't been to the gym in at least a couple of weeks. And I'm eating on-the-fly, in my car, so I'm turning into Fast Food Nation. Thank goodness I don't have to have a full physical right now - FAIL!!!

More than anything, I'm ready to be nestled into the Cute New Apartment and finding time to reconnect with my books - so many to read! - and spend the next couple weeks Netflixing, reading, and cooking.

I apologize in advance for my disappearance...but you can find me at Pearl and Almost Normal (my address - perfect, right?) if you really want to.

Mwah!

Tuesday. Tuesday. Why are there no songs about Tuesdays?!

1. Friends of mine are producing The Alaska Ride to benefit an AIDS Charity of your choice. I kinda wanna crew it...head back to Alaska for an extended trip, do some good, and be 'working' in a way that I love and is super familiar. Anyone in?

2. I'm loving this weather. LOVing it.

3. I'm shallow enough to really, *really* love throwing down a 40-point, 3- or 4-letter word in Scrabble. LOVE it.

4. I'm trying really hard to break some old patterns, but it's not always easy. In fact, I think the only way I can really remember to stick with the New Me is to indelibly mark myself again (tattoos, y'all). Not kidding.

5. Is already 1/3 finished in the crocheting of a new blanket. That means fall's around the corner and I'm about to start nesting.

6. I've got an escape artist dog who might be sidelining as a phantom. She got out of another fully-enclosed area yesterday...2nd time in a month and I really *don't* know how. She's too old (14 1/2) to jump the fences and not quite skinny enough to squeeze through. Theories are welcome, but I think she's just turning into a ghost momentarily.

7. Some days I wonder if I'll ever grow up. Then I wonder about the true definition of 'grown up'...and realize that I might have pieces of it already embedded, but I'll always be a big goofball (and fun!). At least I won't be boring.

8. I think I need another cup of coffee. But, more importantly, I'm having a kick ass hair day!

9. It's official - I'm an Ypsi-tucky-ite. I'm going to sign my lease tomorrow!!!!

A reminder to take the high road. Always.

Borrowed from PostSecret.

This is for you, Matt Plank-a-licious.

1. Fall's coming. My favoritest time of year ever. Idealistically, I prefer the imagery of a spring rebirth and blossoming, but my allergies think it sucks. So, the nesting, settling in, little more introverted autumn has become my fave.

2. T-SHIRTS AND JEANS!!! Woooooooo. I love jeans. Love them. Irrationally, but not nearly as irrationally as I love cargo pants.

3. I really do have an irrational love of cargo pants and impulse buy them regularly. And flip flops.

4. I need to get my feet did. Ted will appreciate that. And m'girl Jimenez. I love having pretty feet! What fall color should I choose?!

5. Life is awesome. Effin' awesome.

6. I'm apparently merging into creative mode again. How do I know? My Old Lady side is coming out and I'm feeling the need to crochet. Seriously, y'all it's a N-E-E-D. Sad, but terribly true...I'm a geek inside.

7. I miss writing. My Michigan Peeps don't necessarily know this about me, but in my former lives, I've been a writer of all sorts, more than just blogging. I've drifted a bit from something that I love and comes naturally, but methinks I have to get back to it.

8. There's a light at the end of the tunnel for being confined to The Dungeon. I'm retardedly excited about seeing all my stuff again. Really!

9. Now, Mr. Plank, are you happy?! I blogged - a lot! - for you. Now get me a half basket of sweets on the fly!!!! xoxox

Cassidy, I wish I could hate you.

No, not really. Not one bit, actually. But I keep thinking about your Year of Yes...and, dammit, I think I need to get back to that, too. Forgetting fear, doubt, pain, past lessons, et al and taking the leap.

"Take the leap and the net will appear."

BTW, I missyouloveyouwannasitdownonacouchanddrinktoomuchwineandtalkforhours!!! And maybe we can democratically and methodically decide which movies we're going to watch again. *sigh. The good ol' days.

*This* is going on the front of my calendar...

Sh*& - it's already September! What am I gonna do for my birthday this year?

For years, I've planned themed birthdays - burlesque, dive bar and tattoos, just a couple examples of years gone by. I didn't plan anything last year because (a), I knew hardly anyone in Michigan, and (b) I wasn't feeling super-celebrationy.

This year? All that's changed. And now I have to come up with a theme, a locale, a costume (a MUST!!!), and a date. (Take that last one however you choose. ;) I've got time!)

Thoughts? Suggestions? Opinions?

Finding (near) perfection.

I threw out my Wanted List (apartment-related, dearhearts) to the Universe...and I believe I may have gotten it.

Um, a wee bit unsettling.

Ok, not really. But I have found a gorgeous, 'grown up,' character-full, affordable apartment for myself. I'm realizing that I should have put a couple things on the Wanted List that it doesn't have (better closet space and on-site laundry), but I'd be getting a wonderful, light-filled, spacious 1 bedroom apartment, with hardwood floors (wooo!) and heat included (a big thing here in the Frozen Tundra of the Midwest).

Now I just have to figure out a way to get my clothes cleaned - free babysitting in exchange for laundry privileges? Dinner-making and wine-purchasing in exchange for a friend/family members washing machine and dryer?

It is a rather large stumbling block I'm realizing, but one I think I can overcome...

IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan.

Not looking for the next best thing...

Whew. That's a lifelong lesson with multiple applications, eh? To not be eternally looking for the proverbial Next Best Thing.

I realized - ahaaaaa! - sometime last week that I've spent the last nearly a year (!) trying to figure out where and what the next geographical/professional/personal Next Best Thing could be...when maybe, just maybe, the message being delivered was to settle into the here (Michigan) and now (appreciating the life I have here).

My second realization was that I am currently living a parallel life to the one I had in Greenville, SC. In a nutshell, I didn't really want to move there and spent the vast majority of my life attempting to escape - boyfriend in another city and we spent most of the time travelling - rather than really digging in to the wonderful city that I think Greenville is and the superfantasticawesome people that particular experience delivered into my life. Only now that I'm long gone do I truly appreciate how much that lil' city is *me* - outdoorsy, temperate, kind, true main street lifestyle with an international flavor, small enough to have a wonderful sense of community, large enough to have culture, nightlife, and personality, with a truly affordable quality of life.

I don't regret my experience and the decisions I made because they're all part of Me and I wouldn't be the Hannah I am today - blah blah blah. But I do really miss those people I collected in that experience.

So, I've decided to stay in Michigan. Commit to being here for at least another year. Find an apartment. Settle in to having my very own life again. Start truly working towards creating my professional dream world. Enjoy being near my family...and some delicious new friends I've managed to collect here, too.

Scary? TERRIFYING. Do I feel like I'm settling? Yes, in the root-growing sense...and, oddly, no, in the am-I-compromising-what-I-really-want sense.

Stay tuned...

Some of my

Bling. I love medal bling!

Oh my. So, I was casually toying with the idea of hitting Philly for the ING Distance Classic (yes, another half marathon). When I say casually, I mean, truly, casually.

And then?!

Well, I found out that I'd get not one, but TWO - T-W-O - medals if I run (and finish). And, AND, it's the last year for one of the medals, the Dynamic Duet. Um, there's no question, right? This medal whore has got to be there!!!

So, I guess I'm headin' to Philly in a month. At least it'll make up for this weekend's DNS in NYC. *sniff, sniff.

At least I'm predictible.

Was just reading over some of my posts and had to laugh. What about? Well, me being under-trained for a race.

To clarify, I did *not* run the spring half as was my intention...it was my first race back on my feet and I "only" did the 10k. However, I was pretty under-trained for that, too.

I ran my first post-cancer, post-hernia half marathon in Chicago a couple weekends ago - the Inaugural Rock'n'Roll (used to be the Chicago Distance Classic). Trained? Har. I'm too tired and it's too hot to train...yep, I'm the laziest 'athlete' out there. But I finished. In sweltering heat, no less.

So, this weekend, I'm heading to NYC to run my 4th overall half marathon. Guess what?! I'm pretty under-trained for this one, too. I've been "tapering" (and working the closing shift, getting home at 4am isn't helping my motivation).

I'll totally blame my time on the heat. For reals.

Binge & purge.

That's kinda how I feel about writing sometimes - binge and purge. Right now, I'm on a binge...but that's also 'cuz I've been on a several month purgey hiatus. It's tough to find "interesting" or worthwhile information when you're stuck on repeat in a super tiny microcosm.

But now I'm writing again...feels good. I've missed it - and y'all!

So, friends, what have you been up to?!

Psssst - I'm adding another flower to the 'Garden.' Yep, more ink. YAY!

Blatantly honest.

Time for truth telling. I've been doing something over the last few months that I would generally like to think I don't usually do: operating from a place of fear.

What if I do die too early?
What if I don't get full functionalitly back?
What if I don't find a 'real' job with health insurance?
What if I get rediagnosed with cancer? Or it metasticizes? Or I get another damned hernia?
What if I have to live in The Dungeon for another year?
What if I get stuck in Michigan for forever?
What if I'm meant TO BE in Michigan?
What if I end up single for forever?
What if I feel stuck in purgatory for even longer than forever?
Why am I not taking action-/baby steps towards my dreams?
What ARE my dreams?
Has my life changed so very much?
Why can't I get out of this rut?
Where did my reality go?
Why don't I have a social life?
How long can I get away with blaming surgery for being a wuss?

Why can't I break these patterns?

Fear.

Fine. I'm admitting it. Now I just have to do something to *change* it...

Just friends.

This reminds me of several of my bestest men friends over the decades...