who knew that Staples was such a cool company? check this out. AND the 'free delivery' offer is typically only for $50-worth of goods, but i ordered only $30-worth of recycled goods and my delivery was free.
in our 'inconvenient truth'-ed world, it's nice to know that there ARE ways that we can all try to give back to Mother Nature while we're also keeping our businesses running...it's even nicer (such a crap word for such do-gooding) that there are businesses out there that 'get it.'
please support staples...and other companies like it. (just wait til seventh generation REALLY gets goin'!)
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
ramblings of a tired blonde...
1. finding religion in port authority? is it the new year? are all the various religous you-really-should-convert folks out in force? or is it just me? 'cuz they've swarmed the good ol' PA...seriously. everywhere. of all different denominations. please, make them go away - i just want to commute in peace.
2. 'freelancer' is just another word for round-the-clock-worker.
3. i might not be quite as ready to be a parent as i thought i might be. which i find hilarious because i STILL have people in my life who find it amazing that i even WANT to be a mom some day...much less an 'old-fashioned' stay-at-home mom. (yes, crawford, i mean you.)
4. i want to live in manhattan starting in 2007.
5. i still want more tattoos.
6. i truly have lost a pants size in the last calendar year.
7. you can indeed teach an old dawg new tricks - just ask the kali gal...we're working on 'wave.'
8. i'm in love with this book and am flying through it. it resonates on SO many levels! pick it up!!!
9. orange is a powerful color for me. i thought i started wearing orange - a color that used to make me rather uncomfortable for YEARS - very recently, as in only when i bought a BRIGHT orange pair of 'khakis.' and then it hit me: it's been creepin' in for years and i never even realized. (anyone who's ever read or learned anything about color therapy will know what i mean...)
...and a PS - i'm going to start keeping a gratitude journal. thanks, ms. oprah, for reminding me.
2. 'freelancer' is just another word for round-the-clock-worker.
3. i might not be quite as ready to be a parent as i thought i might be. which i find hilarious because i STILL have people in my life who find it amazing that i even WANT to be a mom some day...much less an 'old-fashioned' stay-at-home mom. (yes, crawford, i mean you.)
4. i want to live in manhattan starting in 2007.
5. i still want more tattoos.
6. i truly have lost a pants size in the last calendar year.
7. you can indeed teach an old dawg new tricks - just ask the kali gal...we're working on 'wave.'
8. i'm in love with this book and am flying through it. it resonates on SO many levels! pick it up!!!
9. orange is a powerful color for me. i thought i started wearing orange - a color that used to make me rather uncomfortable for YEARS - very recently, as in only when i bought a BRIGHT orange pair of 'khakis.' and then it hit me: it's been creepin' in for years and i never even realized. (anyone who's ever read or learned anything about color therapy will know what i mean...)
...and a PS - i'm going to start keeping a gratitude journal. thanks, ms. oprah, for reminding me.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
interesting manifestation...
so, i saw russell simons today in soho. he was talking on the phone, standing on a stoop...random and very new york. and why is this of interest? well, oddly, he's crossed my thoughts a couple of times in the last few weeks. why? i thought i saw him once a while back, i saw his wife somewhere, and, apparently, i manifested him.
crazy, eh? my list of celeb sightings continues to grow...
crazy, eh? my list of celeb sightings continues to grow...
Sunday, January 14, 2007
i'm going straight to (sneaker) hell...
i'm a hypocrite. totally, utterly, completely a hypocrite. see, i used to work in the 'training' bidness - training folks to walk long distances. said training would inlcude helping them prepare gear-wise...starting from the ground up. literally.
we'd start with the sneakers: properly fitted ones recommended for each individual and their walking style by a knowledgeable third party. we'd recommend buying at least a couple pairs as even a 'good' pair of sneakers will only last for about 300-500 miles - the equivalent of 3-6 months worth of training.
so...get this, i have a fave pair of sneakers - go new balance! and i won't even begin to HINT how old they are. seriously. but i looked at them today, really looked at them and realized that, um, well, they're WELL PAST their worn by date. and i'm a hypocrite. why? because i should have thrown them out ages ago - there's NO support in them any more. and i can't. i. just. can't. i love them.
...but i'm going to go buy sneakers this week. i HAVE to! betcha they'll be new balance.
we'd start with the sneakers: properly fitted ones recommended for each individual and their walking style by a knowledgeable third party. we'd recommend buying at least a couple pairs as even a 'good' pair of sneakers will only last for about 300-500 miles - the equivalent of 3-6 months worth of training.
so...get this, i have a fave pair of sneakers - go new balance! and i won't even begin to HINT how old they are. seriously. but i looked at them today, really looked at them and realized that, um, well, they're WELL PAST their worn by date. and i'm a hypocrite. why? because i should have thrown them out ages ago - there's NO support in them any more. and i can't. i. just. can't. i love them.
...but i'm going to go buy sneakers this week. i HAVE to! betcha they'll be new balance.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
43 Things...
So, by now you've probably realized I'm a list-maker...I love them. One that I made for 2007 was based on something I read in my most recent Outside magazine (I know, I know...I'll shut up about it someday).
In a section called 'Help Yourself,' there's a blurb from the founder of 43 Things. I really, really like the idea of creating a list of the 43 things in life you are COMPELLED to do to fulfill your sense of self. No, not just things you'd like to get around to, or feel you 'need' to - but things that resonate at a guttural, instinctive level.
What does that include for me? Well, there's the simple ("simple" - ha!) things like finding a life partner and having babies. There's also going to an elephant orphanage in Africa for a substantial period of time. Hell, just going to Africa in GENERAL! It's a continent that's resonated with me since I was a wee lass...
So, go make your list of 43 things. Tailor it as necessary - life goals, 2007 goals, whatever...go forth and live your dreams!
In a section called 'Help Yourself,' there's a blurb from the founder of 43 Things. I really, really like the idea of creating a list of the 43 things in life you are COMPELLED to do to fulfill your sense of self. No, not just things you'd like to get around to, or feel you 'need' to - but things that resonate at a guttural, instinctive level.
What does that include for me? Well, there's the simple ("simple" - ha!) things like finding a life partner and having babies. There's also going to an elephant orphanage in Africa for a substantial period of time. Hell, just going to Africa in GENERAL! It's a continent that's resonated with me since I was a wee lass...
So, go make your list of 43 things. Tailor it as necessary - life goals, 2007 goals, whatever...go forth and live your dreams!
Monday, January 08, 2007
I love this song!
My new crush - John Legend. AND he can croon! This song struck me as particularly poignant and, yes, it does remind me of someone:
Ordinary People
Girl I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Ordinary People
Girl I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The power of friends...
I have some truly wonderful friends. I hope they know how appreciated their presences are in my life! Some of my wonderpals and I got together for dinner on Friday night and I was reminded why it's fun to go out with folks you have much in common with, whose senses of goofball humor are in line with yours, and, well, sex talk.
I miss being able to dish the dirt and all the details and this was my hardiest group o'gals! 'Twas a fun night indeed and so terribly necessary - for ALL of us. Maybe one of these days I'll even be able to contribute to the dishing of the dirt again...but, then, I have to get back in the dating game, eh? Ick. Rethinking that one...
And stay tuned for another soiree extraordinaire for a Gaffinator Gal's birthday. We're talkin' hotels and sassy bar crawls...and that's just for starters!!
I miss being able to dish the dirt and all the details and this was my hardiest group o'gals! 'Twas a fun night indeed and so terribly necessary - for ALL of us. Maybe one of these days I'll even be able to contribute to the dishing of the dirt again...but, then, I have to get back in the dating game, eh? Ick. Rethinking that one...
And stay tuned for another soiree extraordinaire for a Gaffinator Gal's birthday. We're talkin' hotels and sassy bar crawls...and that's just for starters!!
hot water bottles...
I was chatting with my mother this evening about all kinds of random things - my hectic schedule, my putting more thought into what i really 'want to do with my life,' and the like. The conversation turned to hot water bottles and how it's nearly imPOSSible to find one on this side of the pond that's covered and not just the solid rubber bottle. Sometimes we're just too British for our own good, right?!
My comment to my mom was that I didn't have just one hot water bottle, but two. She paused for a second, before asking where I managed to find them. I told her that I invested in them years ago - my four-legged hot water bottles. I made her laugh with my story snippets of how Maverick's head keeps my toes warm with his huge head thrown across my feet or breathing his warm, pumpkin-laced breath (they had some for dinner) on them. And how Kali waits 'til I'm all comfy and settled in, staring at me intent(se)ly, just waiting for the second I'll lift the corner and let her nose-dive in...and we'll sleep all curled up together, me on my side, her in the hollow between legs and belly.
Yes, as much as they've made me crazy at times and how I've had moments of wanting to be dog-free, my 'kids' do indeed mean the world to me. They're over-indulged and terrifcally spoiled, but then so was I by my wonder-parents. So, no, well-intentioned, indulgent 'parenting' is not something I see as a bad thing...I'm also good at boundary-setting. Well, mostly. ;)
SIDENOTES: I'll have to post about 'boundaries', aka rules, sometime. I was told this past weekend by a wonderful galpal that I like rules - a lot. Which is funny, because I never thought of myself as a rule-wanter/needer. I sure do appreciate boundaries; just never thought of them as "rules." Weird, right?
.
My comment to my mom was that I didn't have just one hot water bottle, but two. She paused for a second, before asking where I managed to find them. I told her that I invested in them years ago - my four-legged hot water bottles. I made her laugh with my story snippets of how Maverick's head keeps my toes warm with his huge head thrown across my feet or breathing his warm, pumpkin-laced breath (they had some for dinner) on them. And how Kali waits 'til I'm all comfy and settled in, staring at me intent(se)ly, just waiting for the second I'll lift the corner and let her nose-dive in...and we'll sleep all curled up together, me on my side, her in the hollow between legs and belly.
Yes, as much as they've made me crazy at times and how I've had moments of wanting to be dog-free, my 'kids' do indeed mean the world to me. They're over-indulged and terrifcally spoiled, but then so was I by my wonder-parents. So, no, well-intentioned, indulgent 'parenting' is not something I see as a bad thing...I'm also good at boundary-setting. Well, mostly. ;)
SIDENOTES: I'll have to post about 'boundaries', aka rules, sometime. I was told this past weekend by a wonderful galpal that I like rules - a lot. Which is funny, because I never thought of myself as a rule-wanter/needer. I sure do appreciate boundaries; just never thought of them as "rules." Weird, right?
.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Top 5 - dog breeds...
I'm sure it'll surprise some of y'all, but Lydia and I were talking about dogs when we had brunch today. Yes, yes, it's true. Sometimes, I talk a lot about canines. Ha! Understatement, eh? Well, today we were talking about breeds, the potential breed ban a Queens Councilman is proposing, and breeds we love, like, dislike, etc.
Ok, ok, so it was really just ME saying that there were some breeds I just don't 'do.' Lydia's "that" girl that really does love all dogs, just finds some more difficult to work with than others and has preferences. Me? I just flat out don't like some breeds; I can be black and very white like that. True, I'm coming around to the smaller dogs, but, but, but...well, crap. I'm a liar. There are some dogs - small and breeds that I don't typically 'do' - that have snuck into my heart...oooo - I have my own type of heartworms.
On that note, here are my top 5 lists for this week - breeds I looooove and breeds I'm workin' on lovin':
LOOOOOOOVE:
1. Coonhounds
2. German Pointers - Short- and Wire-haired
3. Irish Wolfhounds
4. Dobermans
5. Great Danes
Working on lovin':
1. Beagles
2. Chihuahuas
3. Jack Russells
4. Italian Greyhounds - I'd break 'em
5. Anything that weighs in the single digits (seriously - is that really a dog?)
Gawd help whomever I grow up to marry and have kids with - 2- and 4-legged...he's gonna have to be a patient, patient man with a LOTTA room for dawgs in his heart!
Ok, ok, so it was really just ME saying that there were some breeds I just don't 'do.' Lydia's "that" girl that really does love all dogs, just finds some more difficult to work with than others and has preferences. Me? I just flat out don't like some breeds; I can be black and very white like that. True, I'm coming around to the smaller dogs, but, but, but...well, crap. I'm a liar. There are some dogs - small and breeds that I don't typically 'do' - that have snuck into my heart...oooo - I have my own type of heartworms.
On that note, here are my top 5 lists for this week - breeds I looooove and breeds I'm workin' on lovin':
LOOOOOOOVE:
1. Coonhounds
2. German Pointers - Short- and Wire-haired
3. Irish Wolfhounds
4. Dobermans
5. Great Danes
Working on lovin':
1. Beagles
2. Chihuahuas
3. Jack Russells
4. Italian Greyhounds - I'd break 'em
5. Anything that weighs in the single digits (seriously - is that really a dog?)
Gawd help whomever I grow up to marry and have kids with - 2- and 4-legged...he's gonna have to be a patient, patient man with a LOTTA room for dawgs in his heart!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Minor confession...
So, I haven't told anyone this out loud or in-person...but, um, I'm not so J-free as I was a couple weeks ago. In fact, as soon as I posted that, there was some communication the very next day. Yes, I jinxed it.
Color me guilty.
* And I'll know who's reading this if it comes up in conversation. ;)
Color me guilty.
* And I'll know who's reading this if it comes up in conversation. ;)
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
randomly cool...
so, i noticed a snippet in my most recent copy of Outside magazine - and it was a blurb about G.O.A.T. Food. No, seriously! Apparently, it's a Muhammad Ali-inspired brand of snack foods - 'vitamin-packed' bars, gels & trail mixes - created to "take on the epidemic of over-weight Americans." The demographic is "increasingly pudgy young adults" and with names like Rumble and Jabs, I'm hoping that they taste as cool as they sound and look.
'cuz if there's anything that a whole heckuva lotta folks need, it's help eating in a healthy way...
'cuz if there's anything that a whole heckuva lotta folks need, it's help eating in a healthy way...
my new boyfriend...
Ok, he isn't *exactly* my new boyfriend, but I sure wouldn't mind. Check him out! Who is he? Well, he's an outdoorsy, extreme adventure hottie mchottiepants with his own show on the History Channel all about archaeology. Yes, indeedy, he's the 'perfect' mix of dark'n'handsome (to make nice with mom), outdoorsy (for me!!!), and history buff (dear gawd, my father would LOVE that!).
Here's his show...go watch it! Here's his profile on the B.O.S.S. website - doncha just LOVE him?!?!
Here's his show...go watch it! Here's his profile on the B.O.S.S. website - doncha just LOVE him?!?!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas traditions - old and new!
New - So, I did something unexpected last night. Something that most of the folks that 'know me' will find out of character. Yes, I did. I went to church.
You read that correctly - I, Hannah R.A.A., of sound body, mind, heart & soul went to church. Totally, utterly of my own choosing. No wedding. No funeral. No family outing. Solamente me.
And *why* did I go? Well, I've decided that Christmas Eve will be my new New Year's Eve and I'm going to start a new tradition. Rather than use January 1st as the ONLY day to get crackin' on all those resolutions - wise and otherwise! - I'm going to start on the Eve of Christmas and keep on through New Year's.
To celebrate the kick off of my own personal life feng shui-ing, I'm going to church-hop throughout Manhattan...each year, I want to choose a new church, new type of service, new purtiness to try out. No, I'm not really looking for the 'religion' part...but there definitely is something to be said for tradition and I'm looking to start some of my own.
And get this - I dove right in...this year, I chose St. Bart's (gorgeous church!) without even realizing that it's Catholic. (No, I didn't take communion!!!) Go me, eh?
So, just when I thought I knew all aspects of myself, I actually surprised myself...and went to church! Whod'a thunk?!?!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'Old' - Well, it's not really "old", but it's older than me choosing to head to church...
Today, Peggy & I reprised our Christmas Day tradition of movie, a coupla drinks, then Papaya Hot Dogs. And YUM! It's actually one that I truly enjoy. Last year, we ended up eating hot dogs only 'cuz we had the Christmas/Channukah and Sunday double whammy and NOTHING was open. This year, it was by choice.
Good times, good flick, good peeps, great stories...and awesome tradition!
You read that correctly - I, Hannah R.A.A., of sound body, mind, heart & soul went to church. Totally, utterly of my own choosing. No wedding. No funeral. No family outing. Solamente me.
And *why* did I go? Well, I've decided that Christmas Eve will be my new New Year's Eve and I'm going to start a new tradition. Rather than use January 1st as the ONLY day to get crackin' on all those resolutions - wise and otherwise! - I'm going to start on the Eve of Christmas and keep on through New Year's.
To celebrate the kick off of my own personal life feng shui-ing, I'm going to church-hop throughout Manhattan...each year, I want to choose a new church, new type of service, new purtiness to try out. No, I'm not really looking for the 'religion' part...but there definitely is something to be said for tradition and I'm looking to start some of my own.
And get this - I dove right in...this year, I chose St. Bart's (gorgeous church!) without even realizing that it's Catholic. (No, I didn't take communion!!!) Go me, eh?
So, just when I thought I knew all aspects of myself, I actually surprised myself...and went to church! Whod'a thunk?!?!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'Old' - Well, it's not really "old", but it's older than me choosing to head to church...
Today, Peggy & I reprised our Christmas Day tradition of movie, a coupla drinks, then Papaya Hot Dogs. And YUM! It's actually one that I truly enjoy. Last year, we ended up eating hot dogs only 'cuz we had the Christmas/Channukah and Sunday double whammy and NOTHING was open. This year, it was by choice.
Good times, good flick, good peeps, great stories...and awesome tradition!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Another Top 5 list....
of fave mind-changing books. ok, so in some worlds they're called 'inspirational' and in others, they might be 'self-help'-ISH. in mine? well, they were thought-provoking and mind-opening.
1. Broken Open - Elizabeth Lesser
2. Journey of the Heart - John Welwood
3. Artist's Way - Julia Cameron
4. Just 'cuz I LOVE it!!
5. Hope for the Flowers - Trina Paulus
and yours?
1. Broken Open - Elizabeth Lesser
2. Journey of the Heart - John Welwood
3. Artist's Way - Julia Cameron
4. Just 'cuz I LOVE it!!
5. Hope for the Flowers - Trina Paulus
and yours?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
ain't this the damned truth...
“Learn to create silence in your mind and peace will flourish in your heart. Don't overthink and the answer will present itself to you.”
this only reinforces several conversations i had with my wonderous friend, kinkly la rouge (aka R), this summer - voice to the universe that there's something you want to talk about...and, lo & behold, the universe provides the space. or the answer.
being willing to LISTEN is the key. or. maybe. it's just creating silence. THAT i have a hard time creating...quiet in my life is amazing. it's in the MIND that it's difficult.
thoughts? (get it? get the pun??? i'm punny...)
this only reinforces several conversations i had with my wonderous friend, kinkly la rouge (aka R), this summer - voice to the universe that there's something you want to talk about...and, lo & behold, the universe provides the space. or the answer.
being willing to LISTEN is the key. or. maybe. it's just creating silence. THAT i have a hard time creating...quiet in my life is amazing. it's in the MIND that it's difficult.
thoughts? (get it? get the pun??? i'm punny...)
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
it's gonna be epic!
so, i've got this friend. her name's alice. and she's a sassy, livin' life large redhead. and she tells me that the next 14 months are gonna be EPIC. E-P-I-C!
why 14 months? because who wants to limit themselves to just a year?
and why epic? why the fuck not?!?!??!
HOW epic? well...you'll just have to watch, wait & see.
yes, we will have stipulations for epic-ism. they'll include:
- living life LARGE, all the time. (it is about appreciating every moment, no?)
- going somewhere, destination as yet undetermined, that includes a MINIMUM of 5 hours of travel time (cars allowed, plane preferred according to ms. sassypants)
- a fireman. per girl, not shared. rather, AT LEAST one fireman...
- swing dancing
- ...not sure what else. this is part of 'epic' - letting it all unfold, but knowing it's gonna be huge. Huuuuuuuuuge! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!
arncha 'cited? i am...because i feel it, too. i just need to get outta december to really be 'ready'!
here's to '07...
why 14 months? because who wants to limit themselves to just a year?
and why epic? why the fuck not?!?!??!
HOW epic? well...you'll just have to watch, wait & see.
yes, we will have stipulations for epic-ism. they'll include:
- living life LARGE, all the time. (it is about appreciating every moment, no?)
- going somewhere, destination as yet undetermined, that includes a MINIMUM of 5 hours of travel time (cars allowed, plane preferred according to ms. sassypants)
- a fireman. per girl, not shared. rather, AT LEAST one fireman...
- swing dancing
- ...not sure what else. this is part of 'epic' - letting it all unfold, but knowing it's gonna be huge. Huuuuuuuuuge! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!
arncha 'cited? i am...because i feel it, too. i just need to get outta december to really be 'ready'!
here's to '07...
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
smooth'n'groovy....
my top 5 smooth, singin' men...they could croon to me ANY time!
1. John Legend
2. Maxwell
3. Lenny Kravitz
4. Jonny Lang
5. Michael Buble
alternates - jesse l. martin (he's not really a 'singer' but the man can siiiiiiiiing) and chris isaak (i've always had a thing for him!)
there's something about a man singin' to you as you're falling asleep...or cooking breakfast...or in the shower, together.
1. John Legend
2. Maxwell
3. Lenny Kravitz
4. Jonny Lang
5. Michael Buble
alternates - jesse l. martin (he's not really a 'singer' but the man can siiiiiiiiing) and chris isaak (i've always had a thing for him!)
there's something about a man singin' to you as you're falling asleep...or cooking breakfast...or in the shower, together.
Monday, December 18, 2006
the weather gods are crazy...
seriously! what's going on with this weather?? it's also wreaking havoc on our environment. i was walking with one of my clients, snowy (yes, she's a white dog - shepherd mix), and while she was stalking squirrels, i happened to look up at a nearby tree. and get this - there were BUDS on the tree!!! the weather has been so warm, the tree thought it was spring...
that's just WRONG! is this global warming? poor tree.
that's just WRONG! is this global warming? poor tree.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
emotionally overwhelmed...
i'm suffering from emotional upheaval. i can honestly say that i've revolved through more emotions in the last couple of weeks than i think i EVER have in such a short period of time...i've also shed many more tears than 'normal.'
this shite sucks.
there are VERY valid reasons my family nickname is 'stoic hannah' and i'm the one who gets to drive family and friends to the airport. i'm a whirlwind of piss and vinegar when i'm angry: i burn as brilliantly as magnesium, but the spark is quickly lost...and i get the hell over 'it.' i have been known to pride myself on being more on the 'up' side o'life than the dramatic and/or wallowing in darker emotions. so, it's not too suprising that i haven't dealt well with my little internal rollercoaster. yes, yes, i do realize that's a gross understatement...and i will be eternally grateful for the patience, love, and kindness those i can truly label 'friend' have shown. [working on some thoughts about peeling back the layers of friendship and being able to believe in those that ARE true friends, so more on this train of thought forthcoming...]
the last couple of weeks have truly blown...HOWEVER (comma) the biggest reason i've been on such an overload of emotions has proven itself false and i don't have to worry about my girl going anywhere that involves rainbows and bridges, at least in the short-term.
[sidenote: who the EFF decided that animal 'heaven' would be called the "rainbow bridge"??? what a stoopid term...]
so, i've taken a deep breath. i gave her tons of hugs and kisses and treats. i stopped wallowing in thoughts that included dealing with the [potential] loss of the longest relationship i've ever had, the dog that brought me to where i am in regards to dog training and guardianship, and how on earth that void could ever become smaller, much less be filled. i DIDN'T even bother to think about the other couple of life hiccups i had - they're just dumb boys and irresponsible women who played themselves off as 'friend.'
and i even smiled a couple of times. 'til i remembered that december always seems to suck for me post-birthday...especially last year.
eff. back to emotionally overwhelmed and having to work THROUGH it this year, notsomuch play the role of ostrich with head in sand.
denial works wonderfully. until it doesn't.
this shite sucks.
there are VERY valid reasons my family nickname is 'stoic hannah' and i'm the one who gets to drive family and friends to the airport. i'm a whirlwind of piss and vinegar when i'm angry: i burn as brilliantly as magnesium, but the spark is quickly lost...and i get the hell over 'it.' i have been known to pride myself on being more on the 'up' side o'life than the dramatic and/or wallowing in darker emotions. so, it's not too suprising that i haven't dealt well with my little internal rollercoaster. yes, yes, i do realize that's a gross understatement...and i will be eternally grateful for the patience, love, and kindness those i can truly label 'friend' have shown. [working on some thoughts about peeling back the layers of friendship and being able to believe in those that ARE true friends, so more on this train of thought forthcoming...]
the last couple of weeks have truly blown...HOWEVER (comma) the biggest reason i've been on such an overload of emotions has proven itself false and i don't have to worry about my girl going anywhere that involves rainbows and bridges, at least in the short-term.
[sidenote: who the EFF decided that animal 'heaven' would be called the "rainbow bridge"??? what a stoopid term...]
so, i've taken a deep breath. i gave her tons of hugs and kisses and treats. i stopped wallowing in thoughts that included dealing with the [potential] loss of the longest relationship i've ever had, the dog that brought me to where i am in regards to dog training and guardianship, and how on earth that void could ever become smaller, much less be filled. i DIDN'T even bother to think about the other couple of life hiccups i had - they're just dumb boys and irresponsible women who played themselves off as 'friend.'
and i even smiled a couple of times. 'til i remembered that december always seems to suck for me post-birthday...especially last year.
eff. back to emotionally overwhelmed and having to work THROUGH it this year, notsomuch play the role of ostrich with head in sand.
denial works wonderfully. until it doesn't.
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