Those that know me well know that I move. Fairly often. Lifelong habit passed on to this gypsy by gypsy-faring parents. Conversely, every time I move, the first thing I do is create roots and connections - a la volunteering with organizations that pique my curiosity.
In the year-and-a-bit I've been here, I've certainly *not* been invested. Whycome? Well, I didn't think I was staying. A downward spiraling economy, skin cancer, and a direction-challenged (in a metaphorical way, dears, not literal) Hannah means that I'm now here...in a lease-signed, bills-paid way.
So, now I *am* looking to invest. Here's the short list so far:
Neutral Zone (because kids are my 'thing.' I've been a member of the Under 40-ish group for a while now, but we're looking to do some fun stuff in the coming year)
826 Michigan (already on their volunteer list, but lookin' to do some tutoring and some fun, event-related stuff.)
Growing Hope (because I was raised on local, whole foods, believe in eating local, whole foods, and want to pass on the habit to the next generation)
Ann Arbor Art Center (because they're recruiting volunteers for their 2010 Wine Gala fundraiser...I love the arts *and* wine!!)
Michigan Theatre (because it's gorgeous and, um, a chance to see shows for free as an Usher. Duh!)
I'll keep y'all posted. 'Cause I know you care. How are YOU getting involved in your community?!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Crush. Please?
I miss having crushes.
The butterflies-in-the-belly when you think you might see that certain someone.
Your friends whispering, "He's coming, he's coming, he's coming...he's *tooootally* looking at you!"
The heart-stopping moment when you actually lock eyes.
The head-to-toe blush when he passes, but throws you a sassy over-the-shoulder glance.
Ah. Crushes. It's not even that I'm too old; I certainly haven't outgrown them. I just don't seem to bump into too many men I'd be interested in. Or maybe I just don't bump into too many men and that's the issue. I did have a mini-crush for a hot, smoldering minute, but that flame got stomped out - big time.
And now? I'm a-lookin'...is it 'round this corner?!
The butterflies-in-the-belly when you think you might see that certain someone.
Your friends whispering, "He's coming, he's coming, he's coming...he's *tooootally* looking at you!"
The heart-stopping moment when you actually lock eyes.
The head-to-toe blush when he passes, but throws you a sassy over-the-shoulder glance.
Ah. Crushes. It's not even that I'm too old; I certainly haven't outgrown them. I just don't seem to bump into too many men I'd be interested in. Or maybe I just don't bump into too many men and that's the issue. I did have a mini-crush for a hot, smoldering minute, but that flame got stomped out - big time.
And now? I'm a-lookin'...is it 'round this corner?!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Transitions.
Nope, not the kind in a triathlon...the kind that can sometimes make a girl sad.
So, tonight I reconnected with a long-lost love (of a sort) and it's making me think all sorts of thoughts. Like how the first child I raised (not mine, human) is applying to college. And how the second child I raised (assumed from my parents, 4-legged) is pretty much stone deaf and really starting to be an old - o-l-d - dog [she's nearly 15].
And it makes me rather sad.
Why? Good question.
I love(d) my First Child and will always cherish the fun we had and the ruckus we raised. I love(d) my Second Child even though it was TOUGH many a time and the lessons learned weren't always fun and sunshiney. I learned so much from both these lasses. SO much - about me, about them, about life, about how I'd do it over or how I'd do it for myself should I get the chance.
And *this* might be the heart of the matter. When DO I get to do it for myself? I've had a wonderful life of (mis)adventure, travel, and experience. Through it all, I've only had one thing that I wanted to do since I was a wee one and one thing that I'll regret not having experienced: the having of my own children.
As my most amazing eggs leave me on a monthly basis, I do start to wonder how much time I really do have. The big 4-0 is closer now than it was "then" and it feels like a looming invisible line in the sand.
Do I regret mothering someone else's child and a stubborn, feral canine before having my own? Laws no...I'm the woman I am today partially because of those experiences. Do I regret any of my along-the-way decisions? Nope. I can't. But I can hope. And stay open. And be ready. And know that I won't just have a baby because of a biological clock...that's never been how I wanted to parent - my own parents taught me too well.
I think that now is just a time for me to reflect and recognize that my wonts and needs are so vastly different than they were even a few years ago. And to plan to attend a graduation ceremony like none other for my First Child come next year...and to maybe shed a tear or two.
So, tonight I reconnected with a long-lost love (of a sort) and it's making me think all sorts of thoughts. Like how the first child I raised (not mine, human) is applying to college. And how the second child I raised (assumed from my parents, 4-legged) is pretty much stone deaf and really starting to be an old - o-l-d - dog [she's nearly 15].
And it makes me rather sad.
Why? Good question.
I love(d) my First Child and will always cherish the fun we had and the ruckus we raised. I love(d) my Second Child even though it was TOUGH many a time and the lessons learned weren't always fun and sunshiney. I learned so much from both these lasses. SO much - about me, about them, about life, about how I'd do it over or how I'd do it for myself should I get the chance.
And *this* might be the heart of the matter. When DO I get to do it for myself? I've had a wonderful life of (mis)adventure, travel, and experience. Through it all, I've only had one thing that I wanted to do since I was a wee one and one thing that I'll regret not having experienced: the having of my own children.
As my most amazing eggs leave me on a monthly basis, I do start to wonder how much time I really do have. The big 4-0 is closer now than it was "then" and it feels like a looming invisible line in the sand.
Do I regret mothering someone else's child and a stubborn, feral canine before having my own? Laws no...I'm the woman I am today partially because of those experiences. Do I regret any of my along-the-way decisions? Nope. I can't. But I can hope. And stay open. And be ready. And know that I won't just have a baby because of a biological clock...that's never been how I wanted to parent - my own parents taught me too well.
I think that now is just a time for me to reflect and recognize that my wonts and needs are so vastly different than they were even a few years ago. And to plan to attend a graduation ceremony like none other for my First Child come next year...and to maybe shed a tear or two.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Wuv. Twu wuv.
I had a gorgeous, horribly bittersweet moment with the Grand Dame of the Ashmore Hounds this morning. After nearly 12 years together, we had a first during our morning snuggles...the feral dog finally let her guard down enough to show me just how much she loves and trusts me.
Gorgeous because it was a gift. Bittersweet because the signs of aging are too many to ignore. It'll be one of the stand-out moments in our relationship.
It's odd for me to start the day with tears.
Gorgeous because it was a gift. Bittersweet because the signs of aging are too many to ignore. It'll be one of the stand-out moments in our relationship.
It's odd for me to start the day with tears.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Procrastination is the name of my game. Or is it avoidance?
So, long weekend of work (don't wanna talk about it), followed closely by a long, stupid Monday of work (really don't wanna talk about it). Guess what?! I don't wanna talk about it.
What I DO want to talk about is how I was s'posed to start a fun project yesterday, but totally forgot about it because I was consumed by a weekend I don't wanna talk about. So, I tried to start tonight...but am now avoiding it because I don't want to 'fail.' And, yes, I'm "failing" by blogging instead of working on said fun project.
Color me dork.
What *is* the fun project? Well, um, it's writing. BUT it's writing with a quota. Which feels like sales. And makes me hate it. And it's fiction. Which freaks me out...because it's sooooooo not my forte. I don't do the creative. I do sardonic. Realistic. Life-observant shit, bordering on moderately motivational. Creative? Bah. Fiction? Shudder.
And I circle back to that shitty word we all face, loathe, and avoid by denial - FEAR. I'm scared I'll fail. Wait. I said that.
Maybe I'll buy a t-shirt from the site and call it a day. heh. That'd be funny...and helpful.
Or. Maybe. I'll finish this glass of La Parcela. Go to bed. Stop hating the world after a good night's sleep and a couple days off (1st few in a few weeks). And do some more writing tomorrow...just keep on keepin' on.
Maybe.
Disclamer: By writing this post, I just lost out on about 1/5 of what I was supposed to write in my 'novel' tonight.
What I DO want to talk about is how I was s'posed to start a fun project yesterday, but totally forgot about it because I was consumed by a weekend I don't wanna talk about. So, I tried to start tonight...but am now avoiding it because I don't want to 'fail.' And, yes, I'm "failing" by blogging instead of working on said fun project.
Color me dork.
What *is* the fun project? Well, um, it's writing. BUT it's writing with a quota. Which feels like sales. And makes me hate it. And it's fiction. Which freaks me out...because it's sooooooo not my forte. I don't do the creative. I do sardonic. Realistic. Life-observant shit, bordering on moderately motivational. Creative? Bah. Fiction? Shudder.
And I circle back to that shitty word we all face, loathe, and avoid by denial - FEAR. I'm scared I'll fail. Wait. I said that.
Maybe I'll buy a t-shirt from the site and call it a day. heh. That'd be funny...and helpful.
Or. Maybe. I'll finish this glass of La Parcela. Go to bed. Stop hating the world after a good night's sleep and a couple days off (1st few in a few weeks). And do some more writing tomorrow...just keep on keepin' on.
Maybe.
Disclamer: By writing this post, I just lost out on about 1/5 of what I was supposed to write in my 'novel' tonight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
